Pluto's not a planet.
The ending of "Lost".
Come on, Charlie Brown. Life is complicated enough as it is.
Can't I just enjoy a snack without having to think about it?
Hi. My name is Clark and this is my blog. My intent is to entertain and I'd like this to be more than "Clark And What Pisses Him Off" (although there will definitely be some of that) so I'll be posting some short humorous fiction as well. I hope you like it. WARNING: Sometimes I will cuss. And I will also embellish facts (ie: lie) in the interest of making things funnier than they really are. Just so you know.
"Come on in, shop, grab a bite to eat, get your hair done (madames et monsieurs) and if for any reason you find that you're not satisfied with the efforts of our stylist, please allow me to show you to our haberdashery."
So it's been about 12 days since the thing started and yesterday we hit the crazy number. One million dollars. That's a lot of money. Really too much money." - Louis CK, December 21, 2011Keep in mind that this is without the aid of a record/video company or a service like Amazon or iTunes, so that million goes directly back to Louis CK, the person who created the content.
"It's been amazing to conduct this experiment with you. The experiment was: if I put out a brand new standup special at a drastically low price ($5) and make it as easy as possible to buy, download and enjoy, free of any restrictions, will everyone just go and steal it? Will they pay for it? And how much money can be made by an individual in this manner?"
"What I didn't expect when I started this was that people would not only take part in this experiment, they would be invested in it and it would be important to them."
"I really hope people keep buying it a lot, so I can have shitloads of money, but at this point I think we can safely say that the experiment really worked. If anybody stole it, it wasn't many of you. Pretty much everybody bought it. And so now we all get to know that about people and stuff. I'm really glad I put this out here this way and I'll certainly do it again. If the trend continues with sales on this video, my goal is that i can reach the point where when I sell anything, be it videos, CDs or tickets to my tours, I'll do it here and I'll continue to follow the model of keeping my price as far down as possible, not overmarketing to you, keeping as few people between you and me as possible in the transaction."How fantastic would it be for you, me, all of us, if (insert the name of your favorite artist here) could make a living this way? The trade-off here here is that regardless of the price, if the artists isn't producing something of high quality, they have no right to expect anybody to pay them for it. But that's still a win for us as consumers. If it sucks, we don't have to buy it (but even if we do, we're only out a few bucks) and we don't have to worry about some big company's promotional department glossing things up and beating us over the head, trying to convince us it's wrong to think that way. Honestly, is there a better, more democratic system than that? I can't think of one. "Here, I made this. Please buy it. If you like it, come back and I'll make more." It works for the donut shop. Is there a reason it can't work here?
"Hey Clark,Well Larry, since even the people I make up seem to hate me, I don't see how I can refuse.
In the past you've gifted us with some holiday poetry. In 2008, you did one for Happy New Year and in 2009, you did one for Christmas. You didn't do another one until this past summer, but it had nothing to do with the Christmas or the New Year. How about getting back in the holiday spirit and doing one for us this year, or else I will put on some astronaut diapers and drive cross country and murder you. Please?"
"...this will be my forum for those lessons and philosophical regurgitation of my education and experience. I am also inspired by Clark Brooks' Ridiculously Inconsistent Trickle of Consciousness (the all too clever writings of a high school friend"High praise indeed! I'm sincerely flattered!
First of all, Clark is an interesting and very talented writer.
I'm so glad that someone else reads books :) I found Anything by David Sedaris in your profile, it is one of my favorite ones! By the way, I do not know if you read Anything by Chuck Palahniuk, I can recommend it to you, I think you should like it.
I just want to thank you for your wonderful blog clarkjbrooks.blogspot.com.
I read the post "This is glue. Strong stuff." and then I spent another hour on your blog by reading your posts with pleasure :) Every article is interesting and easy to read. I really like the "A Budget-Conscious Tourist's Tale".
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And that is why, instead of sending letters to thousands of different blogs, I am reading yours.
Honestly, I am not really sure if the link to our website in United States - XXX.com, will be appropriate for your blog, but if you believe it will and it is possible to add it, I would be really grateful to you! Our site is really cool, it can greatly help hundreds of people to find a job.
I wish you to have a good day and excellent mood! Thanks again for your nice blog. Write more! Thanks!
Being unable to find a fork didn't stop me from eating spaghetti for breakfast this morning. Single life has all kinds of pluses & minuses.
"Being unable to find a fork..."Okay, that's not good. It paints a picture of me owning at least one fork at some point and having lost it/them. That's not entirely true, though. While it's true that I didn't know where any forks were at the time this Tweet was originally written yesterday (also, now), I don't consider them lost. There's simply no logical reason to think they've left my apartment. In fact, I frequently steal flatware from restaurants so it's entirely likely I have many, many more forks now than I did when I moved in. It's just that I can't account for their whereabouts. When and exactly where will I see any of them again? There is absolutely no possible way on earth to even hazard a guess at the answer to that question. My faith is of tremendous comfort to me during times like these. Still, I'm willing to concede the point that if a woman lived here, the likelihood of any forks wandering off unattended drops significantly. COUPLE: 1, SINGLE: 0.
"...didn't stop me from eating spaghetti for breakfast this morning."On the one hand, if a woman were present, she wouldn't let me eat spaghetti for breakfast (and certainly not without a fork). On the other, if a woman were present, there undoubtedly would have been other (better) options available for breakfast. On the one hand, I like eating whatever I want for breakfast and not having anybody criticize me one way or another. On the other, some sort of egg dish, perhaps an omelette, would have been nice. TOGETHER: 3, SEPARATE: 2
Born inAnd here's Monica's post (and I have a rebuttal of sorts at the end)
, lived in Iowa , LOVE my Buffalo life. I “work” at Clear Channel Radio, although reporting traffic is, I’m convinced, the easiest job known to man in present day time. 2 cats, avid runner (completed multiple 5k’s, a 15k, and a half marathon), sports enthusiast, and all-around smart-ass funny girl. No ‘real’ blog experience, but writing pretty much non-stop since high school. I’m the grammar snob/spelling queen your mama warned you about. :-P Florida
|Look how happy he is!|