Wednesday, July 27, 2016

A new business venture

Recently, a friend celebrated a birthday and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out which she would enjoy more, a clown or a stripper. The obvious answers are either "Both!" or some awful hybrid of both of those things, either clown stripper or stripper clown. No doubt you're already processing your own mental images so I'll save us all the trouble of trying to find an image on the internet (link provided for those who lack sufficient imagination/psychological damage to conjure such atrocities). But I wanted to avoid the obvious and that's why I invented a fake person (Murray Blemish, as played by me) to front a fake company (Donkey Time Entertainment). As with all good aliases, a backstory is crucial. Here's Murray's:
THE HISTORY OF DONKEY TIME ENTERTAINMENT!
My name is Murray Blemish. 
In 2008 I bought a donkey from a Mexican petting zoo. 
I named him Junior (RIP 200?-2011). 

THE END
This allowed "Murray" to call my friend's place of employment, explain to her boss that there had been a paperwork screw-up and ask which form of birthday entertainment she preferred, clown or stripper.
This proved inconclusive as her boss was unable to answer on her behalf. Such was the case when "Murray" called my friend's other acquaintances (friends, relatives, etc.).
No dice.
Then I thought, "What's something that always gets attention? Ooh, I know! A bill!". That's when I made this and sent it to her and waited for her to dispute the charge. 

I know it's tiny but you can click on it to make it bigger.


via GIPHY
The thing is, she never responded. So I guess I'm in the entertainment-for-hire business now and can expect payment in two weeks.

1 comment:

Blogger said...

I've just downloaded iStripper, so I can have the sexiest virtual strippers on my desktop.