Ridiculously inconsistent trickle of consciousness

Hi. My name is Clark and this is my blog. My intent is to entertain and I'd like this to be more than "Clark And What Pisses Him Off" (although there will definitely be some of that) so I'll be posting some short humorous fiction as well. I hope you like it. WARNING: Sometimes I will cuss. And I will also embellish facts (ie: lie) in the interest of making things funnier than they really are. Just so you know.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

My hobby

I think the first person I picked up against their will and carried around was probably a babysitter who had touched me inappropriately when...

Monday, September 25, 2006

Rejoice, humanity; Devil Rays split with Yankees!

Now, this is a completely meaningless development, since the Rays will once again finish in last place and the Yankees will once again be od...

Sunday, September 24, 2006

How I amused myself today...

Today was my first day off work since, I think, last Christmas. Something like that. At any rate, I was overdue for a little down time. So h...

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Okay, okay, I will solve all of the world's problems

Tomorrow morning, first thing, you guys figure out some way to get together and put me in charge of the world, agree to abide by all of my p...

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Well, I'M lovin' it anyway...

When Vanilla Ice's 'Ice Ice Baby' was out, it was on the radio every five minutes and almost twenty years later, everybody still...

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Technology lets me down...again

Tonight, I was composing* a text message and learned that the auto-complete feature on my cell phone does not know the word "giraffe...

Monday, September 11, 2006

"Still Waiting"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRw63uHCQ-I Party hats and balloon animals again tomorrow. Today, make some phone calls, hug some people, do ...

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Blog updates: Minor tweakage has taken place!

First of all, check out the link to "Ten at the Top", a documentary film (currently in production) by Renee Warmack. This is going...

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

I'll jump off that bridge when I come to it

Sometimes, burdened by life's problems, I grow melancholy and despondent. And it's at those times when I, like any normal person, g...

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Duh: The Bounty Hunter

Do you have a TV show that you hate but you watch anyway? I'm not talking about a guilty pleasure like "The Brady Bunch" or ...

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Dennis the Menace is gay!

Well, he's still just a kid so not yet. I mean, he is already. You are what you are, from birth, what with your true nature being a part...

Monday, August 28, 2006

Drafty

I enjoy sports and enhancing the enjoyment of sports is my enjoyment of the fantasy sports. No doubt you've heard of this. It's now...

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

I am the King of the self checkout!

There are not a lot of things I brag about being good at. And if you've read any of the entries in this blog, you know that's justi...

Thursday, August 17, 2006

So I guess my oven is screwed

If you ever come over to my place, I would be happy to serve you dinner. I like to cook for people and when it comes to some foods, I think ...

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Went to the Bucs game last Friday...

...and here's that report. By the time we navigated the re-routing of all major streets, which forced us to drive about three miles sout...

Friday, August 11, 2006

Get thee behind me, Satan (after you check your mirrors and signal properly, of course)

This is 100% true: This morning on the way to work, I found myself stuck in traffic behind a car whose license plate said SATAN . This surpr...

Thursday, August 10, 2006

EXCLUSIVE! I have the legendary deleted scenes from Purple Rain!

( EDITOR'S DISCLAIMER FROM CLARK: If you are a devoted Prince fan, you can just skip this part and go right to the good stuff. Go ahead...

Who would win a fight between MacGyver and Dracula?

Recently at work, a discussion came up about who would win a fight between MacGyver and Dracula because I brought it up by interrupting peo...

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

I must learn how to shop

In many ways, I'm like Tarzan , or maybe Nell , the title character in that Jodie Foster movie; by all legal definitions an adult, yet u...

Goin' to the Bucs game this Friday

I am not normally a fan of pre-season football games. In fact, I think they're probably the biggest single ripoff in professional sports...

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Who's this guy?

Clark Brooks

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