There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING, on

Folks, forget the rain forest or whatever. Ominous signs indicate that we are dangerously close to completely running out of one of our single most precious resource: television. Need proof? Here's what's on ABC right now (8:00PM EST)...

"JUST FOR LAUGHS" - This a collection of blooper and practical joke clips from some old TV shows that originally aired in the sort of eastern European country where goats are treated both better and worse than you'd expect, accompanied by the kind of canned laugh track that hasn't been used without irony on American television in about 20 years. The on-screen guide's description says this is some of the imported hilarity you can expect to see on 'Just For Laughs': "A car door slams on a man's hand; a police officer borrows a pedestrian's cell phone; an arm falls out of a coffin". My god, we're not only out of television, we're out of humor!