Recently, friends of mine were affected by a fire. They're fine. But what was probably your initial, perfectly natural reaction ("Dear God, a fire!!" or "AIIIIIIEEEEE!!!") to that information is kind of what I'm talking about. This fire caused enough havoc to cause a social gathering to be postponed. Today, I found myself communicating with a mutual friend who hadn't heard about the postponement or the reason why it was necessary. My dilemma was how to discuss the subject without freaking them out:
- "First of all, don't worry, everybody is fine..." Nope, that won't work.
- "Well, did you see that fire on the news the other night?" Uh-uh
- "There was...an incident" Too vague, sure to induce panic
- "There was a fire. So no party." Too blunt, and more than a tad insensitive to boot
- "Since the dawn of time, man has struggled to control the power of flame. Many times, he has failed..." Too dramatic
- "I guess if you think having a party is something that people who are putting their lives back together after a fire would enjoy..." Too passive aggressive
- "Fire! Bad! Arrrghh!!" Too Frankenstein
Fortunately, there had been an email that explained the whole situation and this person hadn't seen it yet. So I was able to defer to that saying, "oh yeah, we're not getting together tonight...it's all in the email." Whew! If that hadn't been the case, I still don't know how I would have gotten out of that one.
"Mouth writing". That's great -- and with more truth in it than people realize.
ReplyDeleteI once had to tell an actor friend that while he was on stage, his car, parked in front of the theater, had been broken into. My lead-in: "I hate to be the one to tell you this, but..." Classic example of poor mouth writing.
I think it was ridiculous that they cancelled the party. I really wanted some bean dip. Fire shmire, I say.
ReplyDelete"Do you have a minute? When you're in a place where you won't embarrass me by over reacting, we need to chat."
ReplyDeleteHow's that?