Never too early for Christmas shopping...

Normally I hate to ruin a surprise, but this is just too exciting to keep: Look at what you're all getting for Christmas! Well, not all of you. The commercial says there's a "strict" purchase limit of five. DAMN IT!

If you're too lazy, disinterested or smart to click the link and watch the spiel, this is a special 9/11 commemorative $20 silver certificate issued by something called the National Collector's Mint, which is probably a division of Generic Yet Official-Sounding Consumer Industries, Inc. This is non-circulating Liberian legal tender currency at it's finest, people! If you think that alone doesn't spell C-L-A-S-S, just check out some of the special features:

• "This Coin-Certificate displays a standard $20 denomination on one side. But on the other side, it’s the first time ever that two separate denominations have been used to add up to the full $20 face value – it uses 9 and 11 to commemorate the 7th anniversary of the World Trade Center tragedy." What other precious keepsakes have you seen that celebrate freedom, commemorate loss and teach basic math?
• "FRONT - The frosted Twin Towers stand out against a mirror-like background, double dated 2001-2008 with our promise – “We will never forget!”" If you had any doubt, just take a look at that silver leaf exclamation point and you'll know better.
• "BACK - The Statue of Liberty heralds a stunning design of the new Freedom Tower skyline in a silvery tribute to all who were lost on that tragic day." If I'm ever lost on a tragic day, I can only pray that any tributes to me are silvery.
• "This meaningful commemorative will never be released for circulation but it is now available through this special private striking at face value." By my math, that means they're free!

So be really good (and nice to me) between now and Christmas and we'll see what happens.