A warning

Dear He Whose Real Name Is So Utterly (Yet Appropriately) Ridiculous That I Can't Even Come Up With An Alias,

I've seen your truck. It's a nice truck. You've obviously put a lot of work into customizing it. I can see why you're so proud of it. It really is a very nice truck.

However, your story about an extremely attractive flight attendant that you don't even know becoming so aroused at the mere sight of it that she felt compelled to spontaneously take off her clothes and have pictures taken of her writhing on it lacks a certain amount of credibility. Like, any. At all. Real life is not a Whitesnake video. If it were, we wouldn't need Whitesnake videos.

I can only suspend so much disbelief without having some sort of reaction. And so I feel it's only fair to warn you that the next time you tell that story, or a different story that is in any way similar, if I am within earshot I will laugh...hard...really, really hard...right in your face. I'm talking about the kind of laughter where the head goes back, the mouth opens wide and great guffaws are projected with such force that microscopic food particles from the hard-to-reach areas between back teeth become dislodged and spray all over your face, spackling your glasses. I may also point. And I won't even feel bad about it because you will deserve it.

Just so you know.

Sincerely,

He Who Does Not Buy Your BS