Well, the space shuttle finally took off. A lot of my friends, and mostly everybody who lives here in Florida are very excited. I think it's nice too. But I'm sorry, I'm just not that into the space shuttle.
Dear God, I hope I didn't just start the kind of shitstorm I got the last time I expressed less than 100% enthusiasm for something. If it's any consolation, it's a shortcoming on my behalf, nobody else's. I recognize that it's something I should be more excited about. They're going into space, for crying out loud. That in itself is cool, just from a daredevil standpoint. Also, I'm from the first generation of kids who grew up watching lunar landings. I should be all about galactic exploration! What the hell is wrong with me?
I think it's because nothing ever really happens when they go into space. I don't mean a disaster. I don't want to see anything like that. But we pretty much know they aren't going to encounter any aliens, hostile and armed with laser guns or otherwise, and there aren't any sentient robots wandering around firing off snarky quips like a mechanical Oscar Wilde. I blame Star Wars for raising the bar too high.
Please address all hate mail to George Lucas.
Ok, now you're just begging for shitstorm. And because you are, you will not get one. You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha...
ReplyDelete^^^ best comment ever.
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