Only in America...well, maybe only in South Tampa

Bayshore Boulevard is too bumpy...

"J.T. Tapias changed several flat tires along the road, courtesy of the uneven pavement. Eventually, he traded his sports car in for a Cadillac Escalade."

I'm certainly not jealous, but I wish the problems in my life were such that trading my sports car for an Escalade would be seen as some kind of sacrifice.
Okay, I'm jealous.