Somewhere, Salvador E. Luria is weeping

Since we're not going into space that much anymore and there's no profit in curing diseases, you might think there's nothing for scientists to do. Well, you'd be dead wr....actually, you might be right.

Students at MIT have completed an as-yet unpublished study that concludes that homosexual men have proportionally more gay friends than straight men. Everybody knows I'm not smart enough to go to college, but maybe it's just that I don't have cajones big enough to emerge from a long drunken weekend staring at Facebook and announce that I've completed a study. Start packing for Stockholm, guys; I smell Nobel!

When you get back, I look forward to your research that determines once and for all that chocolate is delicious and people enjoy video games.