Hey, what's that pie chart thing in the margin over there?

Oh that? That's just a simple and highly un-scientific way to illustrate which of Tampa Bay's major league sports franchises is most likely to be the next to win a world championship.
The data is based on a mathematical formula that assigns numerical values to certain factors for each team, such as their current record and place in the standings and how they performed last season among other things. You see, sports lends itself to measurement and comparison through the compilation of statistics and...oh, shut up. Anyway, this is the Tampa Bay chart, which currently indicates that our hockey team, the Lightning, is the most likely of our three local major league teams to have a parade held in their honor. You might be wondering why the Buccaneers, who are godawful, and the Rays, who are pretty good, seem to have pie slices about the same size. That is almost entirely because the Rays aren't active right now (can't win a championship if you aren't playing) while the Bucs are currently playing and not yet mathematically eliminated from participating in postseason play. That means you can expect this chart to look different in about two weeks.

I don't track every team in sports this way, because that would be obsessive and sad and...oh, shut up. But just for fun, I made some charts for other metropolitan areas.



This is the New York chart. With the Yankees two wins away from winning the World Series, it's obvious why the chart looks this way. I tried to assign actual team colors to each entry but New York has so many teams with similar colors that I had to get creative. I chose gray to represent the Yankees because it's the color it turns my soul when I think about them winning another championship.

Here's a chart for Chicago. In this case, it's a simple and highly un-scientific way to illustrate what is most likely to inspire hope in the hearts of the city's people before eventually making them swear in public.

Here's the Los Angeles/Anaheim chart. It's pretty. Just like all the people who live there.

I thought it would be interesting to do a chart for Pittsburgh because the city is home to two dominant franchises (defending world champions) in their respective sports who are both on pace to be title contenders again this season. But it's hard to do a chart for Pittsburgh because all three teams wear the same colors. Let's lighten it up a bit...

Looks like the Penguins red-hot start (11-3) has given them an edge! And then...there's the Pirates. Yikes. I wonder if people in Pittsburgh look at the Pirates like the aspiring humor writer in a family full of highly successful neurosurgeons.

One thing about living in Green Bay; while people may disagree on whether the glass is half full or half empty, the pie chart is always full.