Abandon all hope, and don't forget to punch out for lunch

If you're a manager, it's very important that you're capable of effectively communicating information to your staff. This can be accomplished in a number of ways. Email? Sure. Very modern! Memos? Absolutely. Proven effective! Face-to-face conversation? Hmmm, I'm not sure about that. How about the next best thing: a good old fashioned, hand-written message on a dry erase board displayed in the employee break area!

• Well, of course you want the staff to know that you're concerned about their problems.
• Well, of course you want them to address the situation promptly, utilizing the internal chain of command.
• Well, of course you want them to become utterly dependent on you and establish the company as their sole benefactor by removing all hope that anyone outside of the company could or would ever advocate on their behalf or provide any assistance whatsoever.

Wait a minute, what now?

Oh okay. Just checking. Carry on.