Sunday, July 03, 2011

Lawn maintenance where I live

The apartment complex I live in is pretty big, covering a lot of ground with ponds here and there and a whole bunch of trees. I know it takes a lot of work to keep everything looking good and I appreciate the hard work people to do to keep everything in nice shape. But sometimes I question how...aggressively...they go about it. Like I said, there are a lot of trees on the property, but with how much they use their leaf blowers, you could easily forget that it's Florida, not Vermont in autumn.
What I've come up with here is an unoffical grounds maintenance schedule for the property where I live. And while it may be unofficial, I'm pretty sure it's at least 90% accurate.

COOPERS POND APARTMENTS, GROUNDS MAINTENANCE SCHEDULE
(All work to be initiated on Clark Brooks' day off)
7:01AM to 7:30AM - Leaf blowing
7:31AM to 7:45AM - Chattering excitedely in Spanish (note: I have no idea what is going on here. Several people, all talking very fast, very loudly, all at the same time. To my lily-white, suburban-bred ears, it sounds like fighting. Except nobody seems angry. But then again, nobody is laughing either. When white people get together in a group and talk like that witrh each other, there's either a punch or a punchline at some point. However, this appears to just be how the lawn guys communicate with one another.)
7:46AM to 8:30AM - Lawn mowing (aka Dixie Chopping)
8:31AM to 8:45AM - More chatter
8:46AM to 9:00AM - Weed wacking
9:01AM - Clark Brooks gives up and gets out of bed; break time.
9:30AM - Clark Brooks turns music on; activities resume with synchronized leaf blowing and weed wacking
10:00AM - Clark Brooks boosts music volume; a leaf blower operating at full power is attached to a rope and with the assist of an elaborate pulley system, hoisted to right outside of Clark Brooks' second story apartment.
10:13AM - Elaborate pulley system is quickly dismantled when Clark Brooks steps outside to see why on earth a leaf blower is operating at full power right outside of his second story apartment.
10:14AM to 10:30AM - Chattering resumes
10:30AM to 11:00AM - Break time. No activity.

1 comment:

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