Wednesday, September 28, 2011

What are you trying to tell me?

A lot of people try to get my attention by leaving things on my door. Pizza or Chinese food take-out menus, coupons for carpet cleaning and sometimes, MESSAGES OF DIRE SPIRITUAL SIGNIFICANCE!
For example, I came home the other day and this glossy little flyer was wedged between my door and frame:
Oh no! What should I do! I'd better...well, I don't know what to do exactly. It looks serious and like something that requires my full and immediate attention, but this part throws me:

Of course it's serious; jaunty angle aside,
just look at the size of that exclamation point!
I don't know what that means. The fact that it's described as vicious certainly lets me know that there's an imminent threat attached to it, but I don't know what a cicle is. Some possibilities:
  • It's C.I.C.L.E. (Cyclists Inciting Change thru Live Exchange) - Described on their web site as "We are a Los Angeles based not-for-profit helping riders of all ages and skill levels use bicycles for everyday transportation. We believe that bicycling can improve our health, build community, save us money, and protect our environment …all while being fun!". I don't find that the least bit threatening. In fact, that's the opposite of threatening. It certainly isn't vicious. That can't be it.
  • It's a font that looks like this:
  • Also non-threatening. If kidnappers used this font in a ransom note, their victims wouldn't pay the ransom but they might send over some cookies and juice boxes.
      
  • It's short for Icicle, shortened either in hip-hop fashion (like how "neighborhood" becomes "hood") or by somebody in a hurry who just doesn't have time to say or print a third syllable. Now, icicles can be very heavy and sharp which would qualify as at least dangerous if not actually threatening (unless used as a weapon, otherwise they're just kind of...pretty). But this is Florida, where it's 90 in October. If someone were to wield one as a weapon, all you'd have to do is keep your distance for about 10 minutes, long enough for nature to render him disarmed and soaking wet.
So, sorry. Unless International Conference Speaker Pastor Paul Stephens explains what's going on here, or at least hires a proof reader, I'm going to sit this one out.


2 comments:

  1. It's plainly, evidently clear he meant "sickle," which is quite a frightening implement for an overgrown lawn. It's also quite prominent in the flag of the godless Soviet Union. As an international speaker, certainly Pastor Paul is aware of the threat of the red menace.

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