Men and women: our stuff is different

Ladies, ladies, ladies: I'm here with a reminder. Some of our stuff is different. Specifically, I'm talking about razors. Lady razors are pink and curvy with flowers on them. They're assembled in meadows by delightful singing and dancing forest creatures. Your razors look like this:

Really, really sharp. Yet, adorable!

Our razors, the ones that men use, are produced in factories with lots of laser beams and sparks, the same ones that make F-1 race cars and fighter jets, by terminator robots we've vanquished in fist fights and forced back into subjugation. They have a minimum of five blades:

1. Taunts the whiskers
2. Drives by the whiskers' home and glares menacingly
3. Follows the whiskers home from work
4. Does the dirty work
5. Takes care of any witnesses

And just in case you weren't absolutely sure that they are designed by and marketed to men, they look like this:

Placement of attachments: unavoidable

 You gals try shaving with that thing, you're almost guaranteed to get pregnant. So avoid our razor-penises, for your sake and ours. Thanks!