Hi. My name is Clark and this is my blog. My intent is to entertain and I'd like this to be more than "Clark And What Pisses Him Off" (although there will definitely be some of that) so I'll be posting some short humorous fiction as well. I hope you like it. WARNING: Sometimes I will cuss. And I will also embellish facts (ie: lie) in the interest of making things funnier than they really are. Just so you know.
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
A short conversation during an awkward ride home
(The following takes place in a car after several miles traveled in complete silence)
"So..."
"I really don't want to talk about it, okay?"
"No, no, I just realized I never actually complimented you on being nominated for the award in the first place and I'm sorry that you didn't win. I think you did a great job."
"Oh. Well, thank you. That's nice to hear."
"But what was that?"
"(Heavy sigh)"
"I mean, I'm not threatened. I'm a confident, secure-in-myself man but, this is...you have to admit it's kind of weird, you know?"
"I agree! I'm not enjoying it either."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Yes! I think it's creepy! What would I find enjoyable about it?"
"It's just that when it happened, you looked kind of, I don't know, amused."
"I was shocked! That was an uncontrollable nervous reaction to being caught completely off guard."
"All right. If you say so."
"Listen, I don't know what he's thinking when he does this stuff. Maybe he isn't thinking. I have no idea. All I can tell you is that I'm not doing anything to encourage it."
"The guy has issues."
"Clearly."
"I'm glad you agree."
"So, are you okay?"
"Me? Yeah, I'm fine. I just like we needed to address the situation and air that out. I wanted to see what your thoughts were on the situation. Now that I know how you feel, I'm totally fine."
"Good. Because you have absolutely nothing to worry about."
"That's all I wanted to hear. And for what it's worth, neither do you. (slips Beck's "Morning Phase" into CD player)"
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