Monday, March 02, 2015

Bitches be gynecological!

"BOISE, Idaho — An Idaho lawmaker received a brief lesson on female anatomy after asking if a woman can swallow a small camera for doctors to conduct a remote gynecological exam.
The question Monday from Republican state Rep. Vito Barbieri came as the House State Affairs Committee heard nearly three hours of testimony on a bill that would ban doctors from prescribing abortion-inducing medication through telemedicine.
Barbieri later said that the question was rhetorical and intended to make a point.
Dr. Julie Madsen, a physician who said she has provided various telemedicine services in Idaho, was testifying in opposition to the bill. She said some colonoscopy patients may swallow a small device to give doctors a closer look at parts of their colon.
"Can this same procedure then be done in a pregnancy? Swallowing a camera and helping the doctor determine what the situation is?" Barbieri asked.
Madsen replied that would be impossible because swallowed pills do not end up in the vagina." - Minneapolis Star Tribune, Feb 24, 2015
Well, geez. How in the world are we middle-aged males in positions of authority that impact legislature directly related to health care for women, like Rep. Barberi here, supposed to know what in the hell you gals got goin' on down there if we don't ask stupid rhetorical questions? In case it isn't clear by now, we just don't get it!
"Don't even try to tell me there's no such thing as vagina cameras!"
This isn't for lack of trying, believe me. Ever since the 1950's, when you ladies first allowed us men to have sex with them, we have dedicated a lot of time and effort to being granted permission to get in there and check things out thoroughly for up to 15 minutes at a time (if necessary). In addition, we do extensive research on the internet (you would not believe how many web sites are dedicated to the thorough examination of vagina swallowing). We rely on research done by pioneers of science.
Science confirms: Icky.
It's just not enough, though. We (dudes) have to do better. You (chicks) are counting on us. This is the sexual health equivalent of opening a jar of pickles! Sure, there are alternatives, such as trained medical professionals and women and both of those together. But this is about us, and all we know is that if we swallow some kind of pill camera, it will definitely come out of our butts eventually! Beyond, that it's all so much Chinese vagina arithmetic.
"I'm not even sure you're holding that right-side-up."

At the end of the day, we just don't know enough about your various neeners and hoo-hahs. Are they all connected somehow? Why do they all look different? Are women magic? WE DON'T KNOW! Being secretly terrified of you and your stuff isn't helping. So unless something changes dramatically, we have no choice but to stick with what really hasn't been working; generally poking around indiscriminately and making shit up as we go (NOTE: This last bit doesn't apply exclusively to medical research... heh heh heh!).

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