HOLY SHIT, HAVE I BEEN BLOGGING FOR TEN YEARS?!?

Holy shit, I have been blogging for ten years!

"What a long strange trip it's been! KIT!!!! RMA!!!!" 

"June 18, 2006: First Post

Hi there. Let me take the opportunity of this first post to go a little more in depth about me than what's covered in the profile. My name is Clark."

And with that, exactly 10 years ago, this blog came into the world not at all like a baby being born. There was no crying, no bodily fluids spilling out, no hemorrhoids. Okay, it was (and remains) purple, but other than that, the similarities between creating a blog and giving birth to a human baby child are non-existent.

Still, it's an accomplishment. Ten years is approximately nine years, 11 months and 27 days longer than the lifespans of most blogs.

Here lies what somebody thought were some really passionate views and profound thoughts at some point.

Of course, there are those who would say I'm not a true blogger by definition. In fact, renowned and respected blogger Peter Schorsch basically said as much back in 2011:

"Clark over at Ridiculous Inconsistent Trickle of Consciousness is an interesting writer, but he posted just 15 times in August, 17 times in July and 21 times in June."

That's not an invalid criticism. For the longest time, I only posted three times a week and recently cut back from that. Hey, I put the word "Inconsistent" right in the title! I knew from the beginning that I wanted to cover myself if somebody dared to try to hold me to some standard of accountability.

I actually never set out to be a blogger anyway. This whole thing began as a writing exercise. Everybody says writers should have journals. I decided to use this format to share mine with the world. Because I think everything I write is worthy of presenting to an audience? Kind of. I wanted something that would force me to write good stuff, better than what you'll find in a typical journals, which are admittedly supposed to be somewhat shoddy, at least unpolished. The idea that these entries would be open to the scrutiny of an audience was my attempt to impose some discipline on myself in terms of the quality of my output. Does that make sense?

If not, just chalk it up to me being an arrogant ass. That's also not an invalid criticism. Sometimes.

"Gather 'round, everyone! I've got some new farts for you to smell!"

 Let's look at some of the positive fallout that's resulted from this prolonged spewage of excessively self-indulgent twaddle:

• I was able to fulfill a childhood dream when I was recruited to serve as a sports writer, first with SB Nation Tampa Bay (now defunct) and then with Raw Charge.com.
• I got blocked on Twitter by local old-timey sports pundit Gary Shelton. Actually, I have no idea why he blocked me, but this blog is as good a reason as any.

Whatever, dick.

• I got to meet and interview Maria Bamford.
• I got to meet, interview and make out with Lynne Austin.
• (One of the three things in that previous bullet point is untrue)
• I won an award.
• I almost won other awards.

"Oh these silly things? I won these in other categories."

• I got to be part of a team of writers that wrote a book.
• I got to be part of a team of stylish butt-kicking gents.
• I got to write labels for a line of locally-produced moonshines.
• I got to write my own book.
• I got to throw a kick-ass party to celebrate the fact that I wrote a book.
• I got to hear some so-called friends trash me, the book and that party which was an eye-opener. It's always good to know where you really stand with some people.
• The confidence I gained as a writer allowed me to go out and start doing stand-up comedy, which has been fulfilling on a number of levels (like tributes in Lego and Funko Pop form, for example).

The obvious question to ask here is What Will Happen In The Next 10 Years? I have zero clues. All of the stuff I listed above happened since June 18, 2006, and it all happened without drawing up anything that resembles a plan. Things seemed to have worked out pretty well so why mess with it? See you next Wednesday.