I don't get men

Right up front, please let me state for the record that this is not a shallow, gratuitous attempt to ingratiate myself with women. Because I don't need to do that. I get along just fine with women, I always have. I've always had far more female friends than males and I've always preferred their company doing whatever to hanging out with a bunch of dudes watching sports or porn or sporn (that's sports porn, which may not be something that currently exists, but if it ever does, I named it and you saw it here first).

Men confuse me, with their words and actions not exactly meshing with what they claim to stand for and represent. I realize this is a broad generalization and that I should probably mention at this point that I'm mostly talking about the tough guy types. The ones who happily embrace all the dumb "No son of mine is going to play with dolls!"® brand of stereotypes of what REAL MEN (bold, italics and increased font size applied for the sake of referencing implied penis size or something) are. The kind of guys concerned with these kinds of things:

• Men's Rights
• Some Men Are Not Happy About A Women-Only Screening Of 'Wonder Woman'
• Statue fight in New York
• Marvel Comics hero Thor is a woman now
• The new Doctor in "Doctor Who" is also a woman now

First, I'm confused that REAL MEN care about stuff like that because four of those things are dealing with either comic books, science fiction or art, all of which falls under the jurisdiction of nerds, not REAL MEN. 

Second, why would REAL MEN be threatened by these things, when the virtue with which they most want to be associated is a stoic strength that comes from self-assured confidence? I mean, if I had an ingredients label stamped somewhere on my body, you wouldn't find any of the last eight words of that previous sentence anywhere on it, and I don't even care enough to actually read the whole articles found at the links, let alone be bothered by what those articles are about.

These guys won't be seen crying during a sad movie, but they'll whine like infants outside of a theater showing a single "women only" screening of 'Wonder Woman'? I just don't get it. 

And before anybody feels the need to explain, let me state for the record that I also don't care about that either. So don't waste your time.

Hey, do what you feel you need to do with your "guys nights out" in your "man-caves" or whatever. I'll be with the girls at the mall. We're going to go shopping, have lunch and maybe catch the matinee of 'Wonder Woman'.