Ridiculously inconsistent trickle of consciousness

Hi. My name is Clark and this is my blog. My intent is to entertain and I'd like this to be more than "Clark And What Pisses Him Off" (although there will definitely be some of that) so I'll be posting some short humorous fiction as well. I hope you like it. WARNING: Sometimes I will cuss. And I will also embellish facts (ie: lie) in the interest of making things funnier than they really are. Just so you know.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

A short conversation about modesty

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"Look at this! The bagger didn't put the toilet paper in a bag. Now everybody in the parking lot is going to see me lugging a 12 pa...
Monday, May 28, 2007

This weekend in crazy crime

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Because you know you love this stuff... Why Don't We Do It In The Road? Well, because we'd probably get arrested, dumbass. Like the...

Back to the flea market

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I made a return visit to the good ol' Oldsmar Flea Market this weekend. This time as a buyer, not as a seller (as I've written abou...

A short conversation about personal philosophies

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"One thing you should know about me is I go for it all the time. The credo I live by is caveat emptor , which is Latin for seize the da...
Friday, May 25, 2007

Tamsterdampa

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Today, I was thrilled to begin day one of a four-day weekend with a seven-hour visit to my mechanic over in Drew Park to have my car's ...
Monday, May 21, 2007

Oh my god, I killed my kitchen!

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A while back, I recounted how I destroyed my oven . Well, after a prolonged period of anguished contemplation over how I should proceed, tha...
Sunday, May 20, 2007

Minor Weekend

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I absolutely love minor league baseball. I have felt as long as I have lived here that the abundance of minor league baseball in the area is...
Wednesday, May 16, 2007

The Last American Bad Ass

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I happened to hear the song " American Bad Ass " by Kid Rock earlier today and I started thinking, who right now is actually an A...
Monday, May 14, 2007

Naughty S words!

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An article with the following headline from the St. Pete Times came to my attention earlier today (thanks, Denise): Clash ends in stabbing b...
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I'm on (in?) The Sticks!

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I've been invited to be a regular contributor to Sticks Of Fire , Tampa Bay's pre-eminent blog. Check it out and see if I can screw ...
Friday, May 11, 2007

Good Grief

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At various times in my life, I've wanted to be this generation's Walter Payton , this generation's Bill Murray , this generation...
Thursday, May 10, 2007

Where have you gone, Betty Smith?

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There's a framed portrait on the wall of the local Village Inn of a woman named Betty Smith, who worked as a waitress there from 1962 un...
Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Where the streets are insane

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I'm convinced that the traffic czars of Tampa Bay are making a concerted effort to drive us all nuts. Consider the following: Kennedy Bo...
1 comment:
Monday, May 07, 2007

Before I continue...

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... I'd be remiss if I didn't take a moment to sincerely thank a few people. So if you don't mind, I'd like to take a just a...
1 comment:
Sunday, May 06, 2007

The 'Brero

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I went to the Devil Rays game Saturday night, where the theme was the celebration of Cinco De Mayo, which is like Mexican St. Patrick's...
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Monday, April 30, 2007

Stand Off In The Office

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Here's what happened: Billy has an iPod and a docking station, so he controls the music in the office, which most of the time is fine....
Sunday, April 29, 2007

Stop Big Media

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Public Hearing Date: Monday, April 30, 2007 Time: 4:00 p.m. -11:00 p.m. Location: Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center Louise Lykes Ferguson Hal...

I love this bar

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I had dinner and drinks tonight with K & R at Skipper's Smokehouse while watching The Bogus Pomp Low Budget Acoustic Orchestra . I...
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Friday, April 27, 2007

Dry Erase Board

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In a professional office environment, a dry erase board is an excellent tool to help keep you organized. Want to know what's written on ...
Thursday, April 26, 2007

Me Against The Mighty Beast

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When I first saw it come into view, most of it's hulking body was still beneath the surface of the oily water. It sat there, unblinkin...
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Clark Brooks
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