Ridiculously inconsistent trickle of consciousness

Hi. My name is Clark and this is my blog. My intent is to entertain and I'd like this to be more than "Clark And What Pisses Him Off" (although there will definitely be some of that) so I'll be posting some short humorous fiction as well. I hope you like it. WARNING: Sometimes I will cuss. And I will also embellish facts (ie: lie) in the interest of making things funnier than they really are. Just so you know.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

I'm not the only one who's glad the holidays are over

"Hey! Somebody! Get him off of me! His ass is right in my face! Help!!"

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Aisle of misfit toys

Everybody knows the toy aisles you find at grocery store toys suck. It's usually a six-foot long section of pegs where you find things l...

Monday, January 04, 2010

Scenes from (one of) The Big Game(s)

Remember the good ol' days when there were about six college football bowl games and they were all played on New Year's Day? They ha...

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Finally! Truth in advertising!

...Although if it comes out as a liquid, I think I should be entitled to a refund.

Friday, January 01, 2010

My forbidden words for 2010

Back whern he had the time (and didn't need the money), "The Simpsons" creator Matt Groening used to do a comic strip called ...

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Art that goes kerplunk

Friends and I had heard about the installation of an Artomat machine at the Polk Museum of Art in Lakeland recently . In case you don't...

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Hot Tuna: A restaurant review

Have you ever noticed that there are certain locations where restaurants just do not succeed? They change names and owners all the time, bu...

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I got your special needs right here, pal!

I'll be completely honest, I made this video as much because I got a new camera to play with (and to pimp some Qlarq music) as I did to ...

Monday, December 28, 2009

The current state of robotic science, as I see it...

It stinks! Don't get me wrong; I love robots. I'm just disappointed in what they've turned out to be, compared to how they were ...

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas

(Sing to the tune of "Silver Bells" if you're so inclined) Scattered, smothered, chunked and covered World's greatest has...

Sigh

Merry Christmas. This post was much angrier a few minutes ago. I pulled it back because I've changed my mind. Not about what I want to s...

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Another childhood dream shatters a little bit

Last year, I got a chance to meet Mike McKenna when he was a goalie with the Tampa Bay Lightning. He was called up from the minors due to an...

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Merry Chimpmas!

( From WTSP ) Tampa, FL - "A little girl is OK after being hit by an orange thrown by a chimpanzee at Tampa's Lowry Park Zoo. This ...

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Decking the deck

Another day, another competition. There was a flyer on my door the other day: "It is that time of year again! We will be looking for th...

Monday, December 21, 2009

No justice, no dessert

There was a dessert contest at work the other day, part of the annual company Christmas luncheon. The 23-Year-Old announced that she was go...

Friday, December 18, 2009

Some happiness for you...

A friend received some good news from her doctor the other day: the results of her biopsy were negative. Now, I know what you're thinkin...

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Sibling revelry

I tried to give my little sister, Connie, a call yesterday, you know, because it's the holidays and all, and I got a disconnected number...

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Who's this guy?

Clark Brooks

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