Halleleujah!! Can you hear me now?

About a month ago, I was having some behavioral problems with my phone. It was turning itself off at inopportune times (ie: when I didn't want it to) and then not turning back on. I thought it might be a dying battery but was afraid it was much worse. I called my local AT & T store and they said bring it in for a check-up. "Well, the good news is it's not the battery", was the first thing the saleshole told me. "The bad news is, you see this red dot? It's supposed to be white." If you've never heard of this before, open the battery compartment of your cell phone. Somewhere in there, you should see a small white dot if it's been kept safe and dry. If it's red, it means it got wet at some point and will probably start to become unruly or explode if it isn't already. "But that's impossible," I said. "I've never gotten it wet." It's true. I've tried to think of instances where it might have been sitting close to the sink and gotten splashed or been hit by an errant raindrop or something and I honestly can't come up with anything. "I don't know what to tell you, Boss. The red dot don't lie." I was actually fine right up until this point. But I hate when someone I don't know, especially if they're younger than me, decides to give me a nickname. Chief, Buddy, Ace...and especially Boss. Unless you're digging a ditch while chained to 40 other guys and I'm standing over you wearing a pair of mirrored shades, holding a shotgun and denying you a drink of water, I don't want you calling me "Boss", okay?
"Great. So now what?", I asked. He told me that for being such a loyal customer, I was entitled to a "free upgrade", which meant I had the privilege of buying a new phone of equal or greater value and all I had to pay for was the phone itself. I wondered where the "free" part came in. "You don't have to pay the upgrade fee, Boss!". Great. That's like being pinned beneath the flaming wreckage of your car after a massive pile-up and the first thing the responding emergency personnel tell you is you don't have to pay for parking.
There was nothing in the store that wouldn't have set me back at least $65 and I had no intention of paying a penny more than $50, since that was the amount I would pay if I just reported it stolen and claimed it on my insurance (a fact I didn't mention aloud, so I could play that card later if necessary).
"Can I just hang on to this one and see if straightens itself out? I mean, it kinda works now..." Sure, you can...", he chuckled, half to himself and half for the benefit of the other guy working there who smirked in agreement, "but it's not like electronic devices like this are designed to perform better after getting wet, you know." "Yeah, you little prick, I know how electrical stuff works. Asshole." I wanted to say that, but didn't. Instead I said "Okay, I'll see how it goes and maybe I'll stop by again in a week or so." I was dismissed with a self-assured 'yeah, you'll be back' smile and an invitation to "have a good one, Boss".
Well, guess what? Apparently I do have a good one...phone, that is! Because the annoying off/on activity started to decrease over the next few days to the point where, a month later, it's performing as well as it ever did. I checked and the dot inside is still red. But other than that, it's as good as new. So I don't know if the whole red dot thing is bogus or if I have a phone with the tenacity of a pitbull. Either way, I wouldn't even think of getting an "upgrade", free or otherwise, now.