How the rebel eats healthy(-er-ish)

I had this for lunch the other day: carrots and celery with a little tub of peanut butter to dip into that I found at a convenience store.

All right, maybe not "health food" in the truest sense but certainly healthier than countless other lunch options. It's pretty much the Triple Cheeseburger of things that are Not Triple Cheeseburgers in how spectacularly un-decadently delicious it is. It's a choice I feel good about.

Get off my ass, judgmental red exclamation point! I'm tryin' over here!

Anyway, I ate the carrots first because they're harder work, all dense and crunchy. And then I ate the celery, which seems to be made of crisp strings and water. Each item got the slightest little dab of peanut butter, just enough to taste it. Until the last piece of celery, which got the remainder of the peanut butter in the form of one enormous blorb of it. That last piece was absorbed entirely to the point that I might as well have scooped peanut butter right our of the jar and ate that. Let's just say that if that last part of the "meal" were a movie and that piece of celery were an actor, it wouldn't even merit a mention in the end credits.
I feel like I earned the reward of doing that by using so little peanut butter on all the preceding pieces of carrots and celery. In fact, that was my intent from the start, budgeting the allocation of peanut butter in such a way that I could make a lavish, totally self-indulgent spectacle of the whole thing at the very end.
Because, yeah, I'll eat right and do it for the right reasons but that doesn't mean I have to do limit my enjoyment by doing it the right way.