Sunday, November 12, 2006

Some lists

Top 5 Fictional Characters Who Are Funny Because They Have Funny Accents

  1. Latka Gravas (Andy Kaufman)
  2. Inspector Jacques Clouseau (Peter Sellers)
  3. Borat (Sacha Baron Cohen)
  4. Austin Powers (Mike Myers)
  5. The Festrunk Brothers (Steve Martin & Dan Aykroyd)

Top Five Major League Sports Team Names That Sound Like They Were Invented For Some Shitty Movie About Sports

  1. Houston Texans
  2. Washington Nationals
  3. Tennessee Titans
  4. Baltimore Ravens
  5. Washington Wizards

(Note: Anaheim Ducks [nee Mighty Ducks of Anaheim] is not included because it was invented for a shitty movie about sports)

Top 5 Names Most Likely To Belong To Jerks

  1. Gary
  2. Larry
  3. Barry
  4. Gary
  5. Gary

(I have only ever met, like, two guys named Gary who are not jerks)

Top 5 Formerly Huge Movie Stars Who Are Now Considered, At Best, Clowns, Because Of Things They Have Said And/Or Done In Their Personal Lives

  1. Tom Cruise
  2. Mel Gibson
  3. Arnold Schwarzenegger
  4. Kevin Costner
  5. Sylvester Stallone

Top 5 Celebrities I'd Be Willing To Bet Are Surlier In Real Life Than They Seem On TV

  1. John Madden
  2. Jay Leno
  3. George Foreman
  4. John Travolta
  5. Adam Sandler

Top 5 Celebrities I'd Be Willing To Bet Are Just As Surly In Real Life As They Seem On TV

  1. Harrison Ford
  2. David Letterman
  3. Barbra Streisand
  4. Mike Tyson
  5. Prince

Top 5 Celebrities Who Have Absolutely No Business Being Famous

  1. Paris Hilton
  2. Jimmy Fallon
  3. Simon Cowell
  4. Anna Kournikova
  5. Kathy Griffith

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