Once more unto the breach, dear friends

Over the years, I've used this blog to chronicle my own personal efforts to fight cancer. I've tried to have some fun and hopefully entertain with these exploits but it's not without losing focus on the big issue, which is lending support to those fighting the monstrous disease itself. Whether it's people with it, their families and friends or buffoons like me, I feel like we're on the same team, using the weapons at our disposal. My weapon of choice is fun.

It's been a while since I've campaigned for a muffin to be named after me and even longer since I've been the captain of a Relay For Life team but the battle rages on, unfortunately. Un-unfortunately, I've been invited to participate in an event that will once again use fun as a weapon.

Saturday evening, I'll be hosting a fundraising event at Side Splitters here in Tampa that will benefit Relay For Life in East Tampa.

 It's only $10, with the proceeds benefiting the cause. Plus (and these are some pretty sweet pluses), you'll have a chance to win tickets to see Katt Williams at the USF Sun Dome later the same night. Also, somebody is going to walk away with a hockey stick autographed by Steven Stamkos.

Humor To Help

with Spanky Brown and Johnny Beehner

Saturday, February 6

6:00 PM (cocktails and reception at 4:30)

Side Splitters Comedy Club

12938 N. Dale Mabry, Tampa

Come. Laugh. Fight cancer.

PS: It's my birthday. That's not what the event is about but that's a fact.

Muffinquest: We did it!

They're real and they're amazing.

Rather, YOU did it.
Some time shortly before 7:00 PM last night, with people already present at Tre Amici @ The Bunker for an unveiling party for a muffin that may or may not need to be named, we counted the pennies at the bottom of a donation can and somehow ended up with the figure of $1,502.35 (FYI: about $1100 of that came in during the last 36 hours or so).
The dream of a Clark Muffin was a reality, by a margin of $2.35. Shortly after a tray of fresh-from-the-oven blueberry and white chocolate muffins (now known as Clarks) was passed around for the multitudes to sample, I addressed the throngs with the following remarks:

"When this campaign began, I had hoped to stand before you today in the pantheon of legendary individuals that have been immortalized by having something edible named after them. However, since Tampa is apparently all out of pantheons, I am standing before you in this coffee shop instead. But I was inspired by the greats who came before me, people who could say EAT ME and not upset anyone. I mean people like Tampa's own T. Hampton Dohrman who has a sandwich named in his honor at this very establishment, Woody Allen who has one named after him at New York's famed Carnegie Deli and of course, Alfredo Fettucine who has a presence at every Olive Garden in the world. I thin k it was the great Dr. Martin Ala King who said, "I have a dream". Well, I have a dream too. It usually involves women in nurse uniforms chasing me with these gigantic thermometers but that's not important now. What is important is that due to the acheivement of reaching my goal ogf $1500.00 for Relay For Life in the fight against cancer, the management of Tre Amici @ The Bunker have seen fit to honor this accomplishment by naming a muffin after me. Which is a total rip-off as far as you're concerned, because you, if you donated, actually paid for it."

And that last part is the most important and it's true: it's not anything I did, it's something you did. My only role was to try to wrap some silliness around the act of rasing funds to fight a horrible disease, hopefully providing some entertainment in the process. I couldn't be more in awe over how so many people stepped up and offered so much. I have a buttload of thank you notes to send out (if you haven't gotten one yet, you will; if you have, you'll probably get another, just so I make sure I don't forget anyone) and I will be getting to that task in the next day or so. Right now, I do need to single out Jessie Stehlik and her staff at Tre Amici (in particular, baking genius Victoria Boukalis) for not only indulging the silliness in the first place but for actually getting hands-on involved in the dirty work. This literally could not have happened without her and them. Look past the nonsense and it's a good thing you all accomplished and you should feel good about it.

So what's next? Well, I'm exhausted and the actual event of Relay For Life doesn't even happen until tomorrow. Then there's the thank yous, plus I still have to do a drawing to see who won a gift basket of the things. I also still owe Marissa and a few others their own dedicated blog posts. Don't forget that I have to find time to do my actual jobs and I still don't have a car. And not the least of matters is the fact that I'm really looking forward to going at least a month without typing the word "muffin". So with all that, I can't even think about getting involved in any goofy schemes. Maybe I'll just shut things down for a while and quietly sink beneath the waves, so to speak.

Then again, when does voting for Creative Loafing's "Best of the Bay" awards start...?

Muffin update: party at The Bunker, tonight!

Muffinquest: The Big Finish

Wednesday, April 13 · 7:00pm

Tre Amici @ The Bunker

1907 N. 19th Street

Tampa, FL

Bring your family. Bring your friends. Wear something purple.

Be there tonight when we hit the magic number of $1500 raised in the battle against cancer and unveil the latest addition to the menu at Tre Amici.

Let's have some fun.

100% of all proceeds benefit the American Cancer Society, via Team Daddy-O Alley Katz, a team participating in the Temple Terrace Relay For Life

CLICK HERE TO MAKE A SECURE ONLINE DONATION OF $10 OR MORE TO MY EFFORT TO FIGHT CANCER VIA RELAY FOR LIFE AND GET A MUFFIN NAMED AFTER ME IN THE PROCESS

OR MAIL CHECKS AND/OR MONEY ORDERS (payable to The American Cancer Society) TO ME AT:

3655 Coopers Pond Drive, #202,

Tampa, FL, 33614

Muffin update: My big ask

GIMME!

When it comes to fundraising, you can be as (so-called) cute and (so-called) clever as you want, but when the rubber meets the road, you're just going to need to ask your friends to give you some money. That's where we are in the campaign right now and so that's what I did last night.

"As you may or may not know, I’m involved as a participant in the American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life fundraiser. Although I try to go about it in a lighthearted manner, it is something I take seriously. As such, you can either read all the silliness I’ve put into this year’s campaign (which involves coercing a local restaurant into naming something…a muffin…after me) by going to my blog. Or you can just read and respond to this note, the one and only pitch I will make to you.



I’m about $1100 short of my personal goal of $1500 right now. But if 110 of you could manage to donate just $10, we could knock that out, no problem. Or if 11 of you wanted to donate $100, that would be fine too. Even better, if one person wants to be a hero and donate $1100, we’ll be all set. Although, knowing me and the way I am, I would probably come back next year and ask you to donate $2200 so maybe we should just leave that can unopened.


I know times are tough. I know you’re all busy. I know many of you have causes of your own (some of which I have supported…just sayin’). If you can’t make a donation for whatever reason, I understand completely and it’s no problem. If you can, it’s deeply appreciated. Like I said, this is a one-time thing and I promise I won’t bother you again (this year). It’s just that I wouldn’t be doing my job as a participant in this event if I didn’t at least ask, that’s all.
Thank you very much."

CLICK HERE TO MAKE A SECURE ONLINE DONATION OF $10 OR MORE TO MY EFFORT TO FIGHT CANCER VIA RELAY FOR LIFE AND GET A MUFFIN NAMED AFTER ME IN THE PROCESS

 

OR MAIL CHECKS AND/OR MONEY ORDERS (payable to The American Cancer Society) TO ME AT:

3655 Coopers Pond Drive, #202,

Tampa, FL, 33614

And if you'd like to RSVP for the Muffinquest party at Tre Amici, you can do so here.

.

Muffin update: stop the press!

"What's that, chief? Muffins?
Is this a joke? Say, what gives?"

The 2011 Relay is less than a week away (it's this Friday!) and the Muffinquest party at Tre Amici @ The Bunker is only a couple of days from now (it's this Wednesday!) so it's time to get serious and bring in the big guns: it's time to alert the mainstream media.

Below is a media advisory I whipped up and submitted to local (Tampa Bay) news agencies, specifically Creative Loafing, the St. Petersburg Times and the Tampa Tribune. If it shows up, I'll be (a little) amazed. If it doesn't, well, I'm not saying you should take their editorial policies as they pertain to the fight against cancer and naming muffins after people into consideration when deciding where to get your news, but I'm not sayng you shouldn't.

Ybor City Coffee Shop To Honor Local Man’s Fundraising Effort In The Fight Against Cancer With Eponymous Muffin

Tampa, Florida — Continuing a proud Tampa Bay tradition of naming stuff after people, such as the Selmon Crosstown Expressway (named after former Tampa Bay Buccaneer and NFL hall of famer Lee Roy Selmon) and McDonald’s restaurant (named after beloved and terrifying children’s entertainer Ronald McDonald), award winning coffee shop Tre Amici @ The Bunker in Ybor City will be naming a muffin after local activist, writer and general irritant Clark Brooks in honor of raising $1500.00 for the American Cancer Society on behalf of Team Daddy-O Alley Katz, a team participating in the Temple Terrace Relay For Life Event (April 15, Greco Middle School). It was originally going to be a sandwich, like the one named after local philanthropist and arts promoter T. Hampton Dohrman but it’s a muffin and that’s fine. Whatever. It will be unveiled to the public and tasted, ironically enough, at a special muffin unveiling/tasting ceremony and social mixer at Tres Amici @ The Bunker in Ybor City this Wednesday night (April 13th) at 7:00 PM.

WHAT: The unveiling of a brand new menu item, a muffin named after Clark Brooks in honor of raising $1500.00 for the fight against cancer.

WHEN: Wednesday, April 13, 7:00 PM.

WHERE: Tre Amici @ The Ybor Bunker, 1907 19th Street, Tampa FL 33605

WHO: Clark Brooks, members of Team Daddy-O Alley Katz, Tre Amici management, guests, friends, family and assorted hipsters and hangers-on, the likes of which can be found frequenting establishments in Ybor City every day of the week.

For more information about the circumstances leading up to this event, visit http://clarkjbrooks.blogspot.com/2010/12/help-me-get-my-muffin-and-fight-cancer.html

For more information regarding Tre Amici @ The Bunker, visit http://www.yborbunker.com/

For more information regarding the American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life (specifically, the Temple Terrace Relay) visit http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?fr_id=29861&pg=entry

###

You non-media types, don't let the hashmarks stop you from reading on...

CLICK HERE TO MAKE A SECURE ONLINE DONATION OF $10 OR MORE TO MY EFFORT TO FIGHT CANCER VIA RELAY FOR LIFE AND GET A MUFFIN NAMED AFTER ME IN THE PROCESS

OR MAIL CHECKS AND/OR MONEY ORDERS (payable to The American Cancer Society) TO ME AT:



3655 Coopers Pond Drive, #202,

Tampa, FL, 33614

And if you'd like to RSVP for the Muffinquest party at Tre Amici, you can do so here.

Muffin update: womb with a point of view

Since this is Florida, where gasoline would cost $1.50 a gallon if we could somehow transform the stupid things that happen on a regular and recurring basis right here in our backyards into some kind of energy source, the word "uterus" has been deemed inappropriate for use in certain conversations, particularly those taking place in the Florida House of Representatives. Frank Cerabino of the Palm Beach Post does a good job of explaining and ridiculing the situation (because honestly, how could anyone with a reasonably functional brain be expected to resist the temptation of doing one and not the other?).

Now, as for me, personally, I don't have a uterus...that I know of! Am I right folks?


Haw haw! Oh no he di'int!

 But If I did, I would expect to have the right to talk about it whenever and wherever I goddamn well please! Am I right or am I right, folks?

Yeah! Rawr! Yeah!!

After all, I talk about my testicles all the time. At work, in the library, at my grandmother's house, at your grandmother's house...

Um, you had us...

On the phone with you at 3:00AM when you think I've had too much to drink, but nope, I'm completely stone cold sober, just talking about my favorite subject: testicles. Specifically, my testicles. Wherever, whenever I goddamn well please. Well, guess what? Ladies don't even have testicles! Did you know that? I didn't. I do now though. I mean, I knew. Of course I knew. I just didn't think about it. Well, I'm thinking about it now. And so if I want to include ladies in the conversation about my testicles, it's only fair that I allow discussion of the female equivalent, the uterus. Am I right or am I 100% dead-solid on-the-money right, folks?

No?
Okay. May have gotten a tad off course there.
Anyway, in conclusion, the Florida House of Representatives: what a bunch of scrotums.

Testicular Cancer and Uterine Cancer are no joke. Let's work together to wipe them, and all the others, out of existence.

CLICK HERE TO MAKE A SECURE ONLINE DONATION OF $10 OR MORE TO MY EFFORT TO FIGHT CANCER VIA RELAY FOR LIFE AND GET A MUFFIN NAMED AFTER ME IN THE PROCESS

OR MAIL CHECKS AND/OR MONEY ORDERS (payable to The American Cancer Society) TO ME AT:

3655 Coopers Pond Drive, #202,

Tampa, FL, 33614

And if you'd like to RSVP for the Muffinquest party at Tre Amici, you can do so here.

Muffin update: the war against the humorless continues

Remember when I posted this a week ago?

It was also posted at Tres Amici @ The Bunker, which is ground zero for this whole Muffinquest campaign. It was tacked up by the register next to a container into which people could place donations of spare change and such. Nice, old-fashioned, sort-of-panhandling-but-not-as-obnoxious, grass-roots fundraising right? Well, someone was offended. Not by the fundraising itself but by the verbiage used. Specifically the highlighted text in this passage:

"But what if he asked for help and no one did? What if they laughed and called him names and said that cancer was awesome and that they wouldn't give money?"

This is not the first time one of my anti-cancer screeds has offended someone (plus I didn't even write it, although I did like it. A lot.) so it doesn't bother me now. And in that case, it motivated others to take action, which means the end result was positive. But this time, the "offensive" material was removed and I don't think the plaintiff even made a donation, which I find far more offensive. So please pardon me while I address all the supposedly well-meaning people who are easily offended due to lacking either a sense of humor or ability to consider context or both. 

Hi. I don't want to upset you any more than you apparently already are but you need to know something about yourselves. And that is that you folks are a pain in the collective ass of society and the reason why the word "uterus" is a big deal on the floor of the Florida House of Representatives. You need to either lighten up a bit or put a little effort into figuring out what is meant by something that's said or written before you get yourself all worked up. Or in other words...

Of course, Johnny Cash sums it up better than I ever could.

CLICK HERE TO MAKE A SECURE ONLINE DONATION OF $10 OR MORE TO MY EFFORT TO FIGHT CANCER VIA RELAY FOR LIFE AND GET A MUFFIN NAMED AFTER ME IN THE PROCESS

OR MAIL CHECKS AND/OR MONEY ORDERS (payable to The American Cancer Society) TO ME AT:

3655 Coopers Pond Drive, #202,

Tampa, FL, 33614

And if you'd like to RSVP for the Muffinquest party at Tre Amici, you can do so here.

Muffin update: shop at Bealls!


Make a donation of only $3 to the American Cancer Society at Bealls and save 15% today and tomorrow!

And if for some weird reason you hate going to stores...

CLICK HERE TO MAKE A SECURE ONLINE DONATION OF $10 OR MORE TO MY EFFORT TO FIGHT CANCER VIA RELAY FOR LIFE AND GET A MUFFIN NAMED AFTER ME IN THE PROCESS

 

OR MAIL CHECKS AND/OR MONEY ORDERS (payable to The American Cancer Society) TO ME AT:

3655 Coopers Pond Drive, #202,

Tampa, FL, 33614

And if you'd like to RSVP for the Muffinquest party at Tre Amici, you can do so here.

Muffin update: something cool one of our local teams is doing

"I can't wait to look like Clark, Vinny!"
"Get out of the way! Me first, Marty!"

Here's something that Vinny Lecavalier, Marty St. Louis and other members of our beloved Tampa Bay Lightning have put together...

2011 Bright House Networks ‘Cut For A Cure’ event, presented by Carrabba’s Italian Grill



Thursday, April 7, 5:30PM at the Pepin Hospitality Centre


"Worldwide, more than 160,000 children are diagnosed with pediatric cancer each year. On April 7th, more than twenty Tampa Bay business leaders, media personalities and professional athletes, including Vinny Lecavalier of the Tampa Bay Lightning will be taking a big, if not bold, step forward to help curb this staggering statistic. They will be cutting it all off and shaving their heads in order to raise money to be donated to the Pediatric Cancer Foundation and the Vincent Lecavalier Pediatric Cancer & Blood Disorders Center at All Children’s Hospital.
By supporting them and their efforts “to go bald,” you are supporting medical research, programming and pediatric care for children and families battling pediatric cancer and blood disorders." -- http://www.pcfcutforacure.org/

Of course, I'm already bald. So if you wanna show a little love for a man and his muiffin...

CLICK HERE TO MAKE A SECURE ONLINE DONATION OF $10 OR MORE TO MY EFFORT TO FIGHT CANCER VIA RELAY FOR LIFE AND GET A MUFFIN NAMED AFTER ME IN THE PROCESS

OR MAIL CHECKS AND/OR MONEY ORDERS (payable to The American Cancer Society) TO ME AT:

3655 Coopers Pond Drive, #202,

Tampa, FL, 33614

And if you'd like to RSVP for the Muffinquest party at Tre Amici, you can do so here.

Muffin update: party, one week from tonight

Just a reminder...

Muffinquest: The Finish Line

Wednesday, April 13 · 7:00pm

Location Tre Amici @ The Bunker

1907 N. 19th Street

Tampa, FL

Be there and see if I reach my goal of $1,500.00 for the Temple Terrace Relay For Life, benefiting the American Cancer Society. If so, Tre Amici @ The Bunker will introduce a new menu item: a special edition muffin named after Yours Truly.

If not...well, I don't want to think about what might happen but there will undoubtedly be tremendous entertainment value in it. And guess what? We ain't there yet. Gulp!

Suggested donation: $1,000,000.00 (or whatever you can spare)

Bring your family. Bring your friends. Wear something purple.

100% of all proceeds benefit the American Cancer Society, via Team Daddy-O Alley Katz, a team participating in the Temple Terrace Relay For Life

RSVP on Facebook by clicking here. Or just show up.

CLICK HERE TO MAKE A SECURE ONLINE DONATION OF $10 OR MORE TO MY EFFORT TO FIGHT CANCER VIA RELAY FOR LIFE AND GET A MUFFIN NAMED AFTER ME IN THE PROCESS

 

OR MAIL CHECKS AND/OR MONEY ORDERS (payable to The American Cancer Society) TO ME AT:

3655 Coopers Pond Drive, #202,

Tampa, FL, 33614

Muffin update: hacked off

So my bank sent me an email yesterday that contained this lovely little tidbit of info:

"...we have been informed...that an unauthorized person...accessed files that included e-mail addresses of some customers. We have a team investigating and we are confident that the information that was retrieved included some customer e-mail addresses, but did not include any customer account or financial information. Based on everything we know, your accounts and confidential information remain secure. As always, we are advising our customers of everything we know as we know it, and will keep you informed on what impact, if any, this will have on you."

Of course, being a good, card-carrying 21st century American, upon hearing that an institution in whom I had placed my trust in the care and keeping of assets that are valuable to me had been compromised, regardless to what degree, I had but one thought: How can I use this to cash in? So I called my branch and explained how very, very traumatized I was by this development...

ME: I am traumatized by this development.
BANK REP: We're very sorry and as the email mentioned, we have no reason to believe your account is at risk but we're continuing to monitor the situation and will keep you updated.
ME: Very, very traumatized.
BANK REP: Again, we're very sorry. But honestly, you should try to relax. You may see some increased SPAM in your email, and that's certainly an annoyance, but beyond that we have no reason to believe your assets are in any danger whatsoever.
ME: Yeah, but what about a little...you know, something for my pain and suffering. A little, um, you know. Some restitution of some sort. To help ease my traumatization.
BANK REP: Well, uh...what do you have in mind?
ME: I would like a refrigerator magnet. A new one!
BANK REP: A magnet? That's what you want?
ME: Not just a magnet. A calendar magnet. With the schedules of all the area sports teams on it. I don't expect you to get the approval of any major league sports leagues so I understand it won't have official team logos on it but there's no reason the different teams can't be represented by individual colors.
BANK REP: Umm...
ME: And I don't want individual pages for each month that have to be torn off because those just curl up and make my refrigerator look unsightly. I want the schedules printed out in a big grid on one single panel of the magnet. I realize that this will either result in a very large magnet or printing so small that it will be impossible to read but I'm willing to work around either of those conditions.
BANK REP: I'm not sure we have anything like that on hand. How about a sports bottle, with our logo on it?
ME: No way! I don't want a sports bottle. I would actually use that. I want something that I will put on display as a constant reminder of what almost could have happened but that I will not actually look at ever again. A refrigerator magnet suits that purpose like nothing else.
BANK REP: Actually, I have a refrigerator magnet here in my office. It doesn't have any sports schedules on it, but you can have it if you want?
ME: Hmmm...
BANK REP: It's got a phone number for Dominos on it.
ME: Deal.

CLICK HERE TO MAKE A SECURE (Unlike my bank! Ha Ha! *SIGH* The longer this goes on, the more strained and awkward the segues become) ONLINE DONATION OF $10 OR MORE TO MY EFFORT TO FIGHT CANCER VIA RELAY FOR LIFE AND GET A MUFFIN NAMED AFTER ME IN THE PROCESS

 

OR MAIL CHECKS AND/OR MONEY ORDERS (payable to The American Cancer Society) TO ME AT:

3655 Coopers Pond Drive, #202,

Tampa, FL, 33614

And if you'd like to RSVP for the Muffinquest party at Tre Amici, you can do so here.

Muffin update: bloody hell

(WARNING: You might consider the following to be gross. I am not going into gory, graphic detail, but still; pretty gross) Yesterday (Sunday morning) I came across the aftermath of a fight, where one of the participants somehow got seriously cut and decided to use the tactic of spraying his own blood at his combatants and horrified onlookers. There was blood everywhere. This made me think of two things:
First, there is apparently A LOT of blood in a human body, more than I would have previously guessed. Because on first sight, I assumed the bleeder was dead and he was not. I will probably not freak out the next time I cut myself shaving and it won't stop right away.
Second, I don't pretend to be some kind of macho man, great fighter person (I haven't fought anyone since I was much younger, and even then, it was infrequent). I prefer to get by with a menacing physical presence ('m a big dude and I can glare like nobody's business) and by fighting dirty, based on the premise that if a situation is ever serious enough to force me to engage physically with someone, there is a lot more at stake than honor and sportsmanship and I would prefer to end the conflict as quickly and decisively in my favor as possible.

Seriously, who has time for this?

As such, I only really know a few fighting techniques (again, all dirty) and I can honestly say that using my own blood as a weapon would not be among the first thoughts to go through my mind. In fact, this is the list of thoughts that would go through my mind (sorted accordingly) if I found myself wounded during a fight, resulting in my own blood shooting out of my body like a geyser:

1. Oh shit.
2. That's my blood, on the outside of my body. This troubles me in that I would prefer that it were still inside of my body.
3. I would like to take steps immediately to make sure that more of my blood does not come outside of my body, please.
4. Oh shit!
5. Wait. Any chance that he's bleeding and not me?
6. Nope. That's definitely my blood. He appears to be fine, relatively speaking, by way of comparison.
7. Oh shit!!
8. If I apologize right now, I wonder if he would drive me to the hospital.
9. Probably not. I wouldn't if I were him.
10. Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit.

I won't run down the whole list but we'd be well into the thousands before "Ah ha! The fool has unwittingly unleashed my secret weapon!" would pop up. Do you know what kind of person would have that thought sooner? The kind of person who probably gets in fights a lot but doesn't do very well and as a result, knows almost exactly how much blood he can spray on someone before he needs to lay down and raise his arm above his head and should therefor never, ever get himself into a fight.  

Me, I just want to fight cancer.

CLICK HERE TO MAKE A SECURE ONLINE DONATION OF $10 OR MORE TO MY EFFORT TO FIGHT CANCER VIA RELAY FOR LIFE AND GET A MUFFIN NAMED AFTER ME IN THE PROCESS

OR MAIL CHECKS AND/OR MONEY ORDERS (payable to The American Cancer Society) TO ME AT:

3655 Coopers Pond Drive, #202,

Tampa, FL, 33614

And if you'd like to RSVP for the Muffinquest party at Tre Amici, you can do so here.

Muffin update: the waiting is over



All the waiting room is a stage

 Friday night, I participated in "The Waiting Room", a performance art installation by Ellen Mueller at the USF Contemporary Art Museum. My role? To stand in line and wait while art patrons, who were there for "Starting Fires", USF's MFA Graduation Exhibition, observed and interacted with us. What was I wating for? It depended on who asked and what was on my mind when I did so. Among my answers to the question, "what are you waiting for?":
"A best-selling novel that's not about moody vampires"
"A frozen pizza that actually tastes good"
"A career rebound for Kevin Costner"
"Test results. My pet trout might have rabies"
"A job interview" What kind of job? "Mime sweeper"
And my favorite exchange (with the cutest girl...go figure)
"The new mice" What do you mean? "Well, yesterday they had mice" Okay, so? "So today they're getting some new ones" And that's what you're waiting for? "Well, I'm certainly not going to wait in line for two hours for old mice. What am I, a weirdo?"
As with all of Ellen's projects, at least the ones with which I've been involved, it was bizarre and fun. Some people actually stood in line with us. Then on Saturday afternoon, sopmebody on the street stopped me and said, "were you part of an art exhibit last night?" Why, yes. Yes I was. "You were amazing! I really thought you were waiting for something!"
Suck on that, Marlon Brando.

Meanwhile, we're waiting for those dollar numbers to creep up and we're running out of time in Muffinquest, so...

CLICK HERE TO MAKE A SECURE ONLINE DONATION OF $10 OR MORE TO MY EFFORT TO FIGHT CANCER VIA RELAY FOR LIFE AND GET A MUFFIN NAMED AFTER ME IN THE PROCESS

OR MAIL CHECKS AND/OR MONEY ORDERS (payable to The American Cancer Society) TO ME AT:

3655 Coopers Pond Drive, #202,

Tampa, FL, 33614

And if you'd like to RSVP for the Muffinquest party at Tre Amici, you can do so here.

Muffinquest: saying goodbye to one mayor, hello to another

Yesterday, on the same day that I became mayor of Tre Amici @ The Bunker in Ybor City on Foursquare (yes I did!), Bob Buckhorn was sworn in as mayor of the city of Tampa, replacing Pam Iorio. I'm a huge fan of "Mayor Pam" as she became known and deeply appreciate her service to Tampa, my home sweet home. Here are some highlights:

• Extended health benefits to unmarried partners - homosexual and heterosexual - of city employees. Fulfilling a campaign pledge, Iorio made the changes by executive order in 2004, bypassing the city council and fierce opposition from Christian evangelical groups.
• Hired city's first female police chief, Jane Castor in September 2009 to succeed Stephen Hogue, who retired.
• Increased spending on neighborhoods, from fixing pot-holes to paving roads, from about $2.6 million in FY 2003 to about $10 million today.
• Boosted Riverwalk, the much-touted $40 million Riverwalk project that had been on the drawing board for years.
• Oversaw completion of a $42 million renovation of Curtis Hixon Park on the riverfront, including the new Tampa Museum of Art and the Glazer Children's Museum.
• Spent more than $13.6 million through a federally funded affordable housing program to buy foreclosed properties, most of which will be rehabilitated and sold. To date, the city has bought 18 foreclosed single-family homes and duplexes, mostly in the Sulphur Springs area. Other foreclosed single-family homes and multiplexes in neighborhoods across Tampa have been bought by nonprofit groups under contracts with the city.
• Reduced the city's operating expenses through a host of initiatives, from consolidating city departments and streamlining services to switching to online auctions to sell surplus vehicles and equipment, reducing the size of its vehicle fleet and other costs savings.
• Reduced crime rate by 36 percent in her first term and by more than 60 percent in her second term through a mix of targeted law enforcement and community policing.
• Signed the U.S. Mayors Climate Protection Agreement in 2006, pledging to meet a series of tangible environmental benchmarks. She assembled a "green team" to focus on water and energy conservation and expanded the city's recycling program, with limited success. The residential recycling program has been plagued by low participation and few if any of the city's buildings have been retrofitted with energy efficient fixtures.

(Source: Tampa Tribune/TBO.com)

From one mayor to a couple of others, thank you Mayor Pam, for everything you did. And good luck Mayor Bob; you have a tough act to follow.

CLICK HERE TO MAKE A SECURE ONLINE DONATION OF $10 OR MORE TO MY EFFORT TO FIGHT CANCER VIA RELAY FOR LIFE AND GET A MUFFIN NAMED AFTER ME IN THE PROCESS

OR MAIL CHECKS AND/OR MONEY ORDERS (payable to The American Cancer Society) TO ME AT:

3655 Coopers Pond Drive, #202,

Tampa, FL, 33614

And if you'd like to RSVP for the Muffinquest party at Tre Amici, you can do so here.

Oh yeah, we hang out.

Muffin update: "A Bunker Story"

Gather your loved ones, read them this story (written by renowned children's author and child Jessie Stehlik), pat them gently on the bottom and tell them to go forth and do the right thing.

CLICK HERE TO MAKE A SECURE ONLINE DONATION OF $10 OR MORE TO MY EFFORT TO FIGHT CANCER VIA RELAY FOR LIFE AND GET A MUFFIN NAMED AFTER ME IN THE PROCESS

OR MAIL CHECKS AND/OR MONEY ORDERS (payable to The American Cancer Society) TO ME AT:

3655 Coopers Pond Drive, #202,

Tampa, FL, 33614

And if you'd like to RSVP for the Muffinquest party at Tre Amici, you can do so here.

Muffinquest: a different voice

I've been prattling on and on, day after day, about whatever it is I prattle on about every day, eventually ending up with some pitch to you to donate money to what I refer to as "my" cause. Just for the sake of variety, I thought it would be nice to change things up a little and let you hear from someone else. Dianne Reeger is the team captain of Team Go Go, fellow participants and loyal-but-friendly competition in the Temple Terrace Relay For Life event and the fight against cancer is her cause too. In fact, she's been at it a lot longer than I have. She posted the following on her Facebook page the other day and I am re-posting it here, with her permission...

Dianne's grandfather, the "Go Go"
after whom her team is named.

I'm sad and angry and tired...and frustrated....

by Dianne Reeger
 
In 2-1/2 weeks Team Go Go will be participating in our 8th Relay for Life event. Over the past 8 years we've raised over $100,000 in the fight against this insidious disease. We've won top fundraising team 5 of those years. We've won the Team Spirit award every year but our first year. We've had multiple star supporters and individual top fundraisers. We've had some amazingly kick-ass auction nights. And our friends and family and co-workers continue to amaze us with thier never ending support of our crusade.
But I look at this list...the names of the people that past and present Team Go Go-ers have added to our team shirt...OUR reasons to relay...and I can't stop from crying...OVER 200 names of friends, family, loved ones. Parents and siblings and best friends that we've lost to this stupid f*cking disease. Uncles and cousins and spouses that are fighting back with everything they have...
It's not fair. It pisses me off. And it breaks my heart. In the end I really don't care about winning another trophy, about earning another spirit point, about getting another damn t-shirt. I want people to stop dying. I want the people I love to not have to fight tooth and nail to survive. I want Cancer to go away for good. Enough is enough.
And there's just too many people to tag who are affected by this list like I am...so it's just going on my profile. Share if you wish...

In Memory Of:  ■ Debbie Baker Basler March 2011 ■ Darla Afable ■ Pat “Burnsie” Burns ■ Amanda Older Jan 2011 ■ LaVerne Peyton Oct 2010 ■ Harvey Wolf March 2010 ■ Manuel Gonzalez Feb 2010
■ Minnie Young Oct 2009 ■ Ted “2th Fairy” Baker May 2009 ■ Thomas Bader March 2009 ■ Sandi Skretny Dec 2008 ■ Joanne Tireman Nov 2008 ■ Laureline Evans Nov 2008 ■ Myra Weir Sept 2008 ■ Winston Bishop Sep 2008 ■ John Hill Aug 2008 ■ Osvaldo Luciano Pardo May 2008 ■ Trenda VanHorn Naff April 2008 ■ Mike Gaffney March 2008 ■ Dan Rogers March 2008 ■ Dianne Atchley March 2008 ■ Thomas Bader March 2008 ■ John Brostek Feb 2008 ■ Jim "Shef" "Stroke" Sheffer May 2007 ■ Linda Fancher May 2007 ■ Edward McGowan April 2007 ■ Marty Clance April 2007 ■ Jessica Thomas March 2007 ■ Dotte David Feb 2007 ■ Sheila Young Feb 2007 ■ Joyce Simard Jan 2007 ■ Clara Belle Joyce 2007 ■ Kyle Taylor 2007 ■ Rick Braden 2007 ■ Steve Tebes Dec 2006 ■ Pam Certo Sept 2006 ■ Robin Brewer Aug 2006 ■ Howard Patterson May 2006 ■ James Bauer Apr 2006 ■ John E. Tranquillo March 2006 ■ Kim Sheppard March 2006 ■ Miller H. Wells Jan 2006 ■ Sara Cronin 2006  ■ Gloria Pittard June 2005 ■ William Robarts March 2005 ■ Gary Roush Feb 2005 ■ Lawrence Clark Jan 2005 ■ Dick Speaker Dec 2004 ■ Billy Milligan March 2004 ■ Kathy Barnes Jan 2004 ■ William O'Brien Dec 2003 ■ Sally O'Brien Nov 2003 ■ Ted Casteneda 2003 ■ Curtis Coy Dec 2002 ■ Rose Massari Dec 2002 ■ Della Smith July 2002 ■ Bea Bojar 2002 ■ Bill Milne Oct 2001 ■ Barbara Walsh 2001 ■ Mark Whitehead Jr. Nov 2000 ■ Sandy Warne Sept 2000 ■ Timothy McDowell Aug 2000 ■ Chuck Luther Mar 2000 ■ Dorothea Freeman Feb 2000 ■ Marnie Roush Oct 1999 ■ Sandy Shikora Aug 1999 ■ Walter Lowe June 1999 ■ Cyndee Loll May 1999 ■ Wayne Schofield May 1999 ■ Harold Williams March 1999 ■ Daniel Bent Jan 1999 ■ Sarah Hopp Nov 1998 ■ Robert Fults May 1998 ■ Elizabeth Donaldson Nov 1997 ■ Richard “Pete” Peterson Aug 1996 ■ Marlene Green 1996 ■ MamaRene Aldridge Dec 1995 ■ Mark Whitehead Sr. 1995 ■ Henry Pinnella April 1994 ■ George ■ Jean Carlson Feb 1994 ■ Mary Innes Jan 1994 ■ Chi Gilliland 1994 ■ Jan Richardson Oct 1993 ■ Helen Ortiz 1993 ■ James Rogers Dec 1992
■ Ronald Taylor 1992 ■ Lois Rubin Nov 1991 ■ Benny Sheffer Oct 1991 ■ Alice Trevino June 1991 ■ Frank Carroll Apr 1991 ■ Arminta Mae Flohr Feb 1991 ■ Adonia Morrissette Dec 1990 ■ Jerry Lewis Nov 1990 ■ Joseph Gordon Sept 1990 ■ Bill Depasquale July 1990 ■ Albert Yates Sr. 199? ■ Michael Missildine 1989 ■ James “Rocking Chair” Donaldson August 1988 ■ Robert Woods Jan 1988 ■ Mildred Yates 1988 ■ Della Wendling Dec 1987 ■ William Travis Oct 1986 ■ Jack Jacunksi July 1986 ■ Robert Freeman Apr 1985 ■ Diane Padro "Soakie" 1985 ■ Debbie Martin Sept 1984 ■ Phala Bell April 1984 ■ Jerry Juhl March 1984 ■ Mary Rose Bufalo 1983 ■ Ruth Pinnella Sept 1982 ■ Nina Sheffer Nov 1981 ■ Lucille Litz Mar 1981 ■ George Lucas Oct 1978 ■ Jean Taylor 1977 ■ Harrison Travis Sept 1977 ■ Augustin “Gus” Carter Feb 1976 ■ Viola Yates 197? ■ Hortensia Guiteras Oct 1964 ■ Barbara Gordon 1951 ■ Hester Fern Lee ■ Irving Schilian


In Honor of: ■ Al Carroll ■ Albert Yates II ■ Alvin Bojar ■ Amber Pond ■ Aneva Kay Lee ■ Bill Middleton ■ Blanche Simard ■ Bob Richards ■ Bonnie Adkins ■ Bonnie Faustrum ■ Carlos Robb ■ Carole Smith ■Cathy “Timmaaay” Tapley ■ Cher Carbone ■ Cheryl Hedrick ■ David Cuevas ■ David Foster ■ Debbie Kissel ■ Deborah Dearmin ■ Debra Ferrier ■ Denise Casidy ■ Denise Warren ■ Donna McKinnon
■ Duncan Price ■ Ellen Patron ■ Eniva Kay Lee ■ Francis Bouchard ■ Heather Jacques ■ Hitie Larkins ■ Inez Hammond ■ Iris Garcia ■ Isreal Cuevas ■ Jan Baja ■ Jan DeVega ■ Jan Endries ■ Jane Dempsey ■ Jeanie Robb ■ Jerri Heit ■ Jen Alvis ■ Joseph Rogan ■ Joyce Johnston ■ Karen Mouradian ■ Ken Bishop ■ Kevin Kalwary ■ Kim Marsh ■ Kim Mozley ■ Kimberly Kennedy ■ Kristiana Hinsch ■ Leslie Chodock ■ Linda Patterson ■ Lisa Mills-Ridge ■ Loretta Devine ■ Lucy Krohne ■ Margaret Bishop ■ Maria Cooper ■ Maria Fronduti ■ Marie Combs ■ Mary Bordonaro ■ Matthew Crawley ■ Mickey Behrens ■ Nell Dunn ■ Patricia Arnold ■ Paul Mangan ■ Perry Lorson ■ Reid Jenkins ■ Richard Buckhold
■ Richard Gordon ■ Robert Parish ■ Ruth Tilden ■ Samuel Dirk Stanley ■ Sandra Drake ■ Stephen Lenz ■ Sue Williams ■ Tamara Williams ■ Tami Bethune ■ Tammy Brown ■ Timm Etters ■ Timothy Travis ■ Thomas Travis ■ Tommy Casasa ■ Tracy Sheehan ■ Wally Bray


Wanna support me in my effort to rid the world of Cancer? Then click on my link!! http://main.acsevents.org/goto/diannereeger THANK YOU!!


NOTE: If you want to donate to Dianne's campaign instead of mine, I don't mind. But just in case...

CLICK HERE TO MAKE A SECURE ONLINE DONATION OF $10 OR MORE TO MY EFFORT TO FIGHT CANCER VIA RELAY FOR LIFE AND GET A MUFFIN NAMED AFTER ME IN THE PROCESS

OR MAIL CHECKS AND/OR MONEY ORDERS (payable to The American Cancer Society) TO ME AT:

3655 Coopers Pond Drive, #202,

Tampa, FL, 33614

And if you'd like to RSVP for the Muffinquest party at Tre Amici, you can do so here.

Muffin update: bracket madness

Stop fighting! We all love muffins!

OVERRATED: Robot fight. UNDERRATED: Restaurant fight.
Just kidding; a robot fight could never be anything but awesome, and therefor un-overrate-able. Especially when the restaurant fight doesn't involve the use of food as a weapon. Or even the proprietors of the restaurants. But the battle between voters in Creative Loafing's Breakfast Bowl (presumedly patrons of the establishments "competing" against one another) is pretty friggin' awesome in itself. Damn, we are an angry, angry lot of people! It's breakfast, folks. Have an egg dish, a cup of coffee, sit back and relax. It might be a good idea to get something with some bran in it. Just sayin'.
Anywho, our favorite establishment Tre Amici @ The Bunker in Ybor City made it all the way into the last eight restaurants standing before losing to a place called Three Coins (which, honestly, is my kind of breakfast place; putting the greasy in 'greasy spoon') and they did so while maintaining a sense of humor and a humble appreciation for the support they recieved. Of course, true class is what you would expect from an establishment that is going to honor someone like me (specifically: me) by adding a muffin named in my honor to their menu...once we hit this goal of $1500 for the American Cancer Society.
Besides, the tournament is a sham; everybody knows the best breakfast in town can be found at the Village Inn on Dale Mabry, just north of Kennedy. Dumbasses.

CLICK HERE TO MAKE A SECURE ONLINE DONATION OF $10 OR MORE TO MY EFFORT TO FIGHT CANCER VIA RELAY FOR LIFE AND GET A MUFFIN NAMED AFTER ME IN THE PROCESS

OR MAIL CHECKS AND/OR MONEY ORDERS (payable to The American Cancer Society) TO ME AT:

3655 Coopers Pond Drive, #202,

Tampa, FL, 33614

And if you'd like to RSVP for the Muffinquest party at Tre Amici, you can do so here.