Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Fab Fours down to their final four


Following the recent passing of Beatrice Arthur, The Golden Girls are now down to only two surviving original members, just like their arch rival supergroup The Beatles.
The topic of which group's concert was a bigger pop culture milestone (Beatles at Shea Stadium vs Golden Girls at Altamonte) will forever be a subject of debate. What is not in dispute is the following collection of historical, comparative facts, most of which are entirely true.

BEATLES
Dominated pop music for six years between 1964 and 1970, Or eight years if you consider that they actually became big stars in the United Kingdom in 1962, two years before they made it big in America. In other words, six years.

GOLDEN GIRLS
Dominated Saturday night prime time television (was it on Saturday night or Friday night? I don't remember. Let's say Saturday night) for seven years between 1985 and 1992.

BEATLES
John Lennon was often referred to as The Intellectual One
Paul McCartney was often referred to as The Cute One
George Harrison was often referred to as The Quiet One
Ringo Starr was often referred to as The Luckiest Bastard On Earth One

GOLDEN GIRLS
Bea Arthur ("Dorothy") was often referred to as The Intimidating One
Estelle Getty ("Sophia") was often referred to as The Youngest In Real Life, Although Ironically Cast As The Oldest Character One
Betty White ("Rose") was often referred to as The Batshit Insane One
Rue McClanahan ("Blanche") was often referred to as The Hot (Oh, Don't Act Like You Don't Think So Too) One

BEATLES
Broke up because of money, creative differences, money, Yoko Ono, money and money.


GOLDEN GIRLS
Broke up when Bea Arthur decided she'd had enough of working on a sitcom and called it quits. And because of Yoko Ono.

BEATLES
Failed tributes in the form of countless shitty cover bands, most of whom can't even be bothered to cast a left-handed bass player.

GOLDEN GIRLS
Failed tributes in the form of a shitty spin-off called "The Golden Palace" and an off Broadway show called "The Golden Girls: Live!" which ran for about six months in 2003 until ordered to cease and desist by the tv show's producers.

BEATLES
Psychotic pop culture trivia tidbit: In 1970, Elvis Presley tried to convince President Nixon that the Beatles were a threat to America.

GOLDEN GIRLS
Psychotic pop culture trivia tidbit: In 1988, Quentin Tarantino appeared on an episode of "The Golden Girls" as an Elvis impersonator.

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