I have birthdays coming up, and some of you are gonna be in big trouble

• Basketball TV announcer Dick Vitale planted a big wet smooch on Ashley Judd yesterday. He's 75, she's hot.
• In 2003, 60-something-years-old Joe Namath tried to make out with sideline reporter Suzy Kolber during a televised football game.
• In 2013, a 73-year-old Brent Musburger slobbered (verbally) all over Alabama quarterback A.J. McCarron's girlfriend Katherine Webb during the national championship game.

Yeah, my latest birthday was just last month, but I have more coming up (hopefully) and each one brings me closer to that magical age, the age when I can be a crazy old man who can do whatever
I want (even more so than I do now). And as much as I love the Indiana Jones movies, I promise you I'm far more inclined to emulate the behavior of the old perverts listed above than I am to go around crashing airplanes. 

Consider yourselves warned.