Quit crying, Tampa. Again. Still. Always.

I wrote this two years ago prior to the 2012 Republican National Convention taking place in Tampa.
Apparently, that message didn't land and we still have some work to do.

Comedian Amy Schumer just had a book published, in which she said (wrote) this...

"I was on the road doing a tour and traveling between two horrendous cities: Fayetteville, North Carolina, and Tampa, Florida. I'm not scared about writing that and making those people mad, because I know for a fact that no one who lives there has ever read a book. JKJKJKJKJK, but kind of not K."

It's three sentences, 54 words, 262 letters, from a 336-page book.

Here are headlines reacting to those 54 words from a 336-page book from some of our major media outlets:

• "Comedian Amy Schumer puts Tampa on blast" - TV station WTSP (CBS affiliate)
• "Amy Schumer had a great one-night stand in Tampa, but calls the city 'horrendous' in her new book" - Tampa Bay Times
• "'Horrendous' Tampa responds to Amy Schumer" - TV station WTVT (Fox affiliate)
• "Celeb Amy Schumer slams Tampa" - TV station WFTS (ABC affiliate)

"On blast"? "Slams"?
It's hard to tell from the media's reaction, but it's not an entire book about how Amy Schumer thinks Tampa is horrendous.

Does anyone weep for Fayetteville?

Before you ask "how does this even qualify as news?", which is a valid question, remember that a community's news media is a reflection of the boobs who live there. Boobs who respond to headlines like those with comments like these:

• "I have always said people who bash other people or other places have a lot of insecurities of their own and are not very happy. She is very unhappy and really is a pathetic person. You can tell she has insecurities. And we know what they are."
• "When someone with class and respect say that, then I will take it seriously. Otherwise, consider the source. Unhappy people bring unhappiness around them."
• "My opinion of her isn't any worse; I thought she was gross, overrated, and a talentless hack from the start. This comment just shows she's a moron as well."
• "Maybe the people of Tampa need to show her just how many books we read and boycott her show. She will change her tune when her wallet gets hurt. Not funny!"
• "No one should buy tickets to her upcoming show here !!!!"

Seriously? A boycott?? Over that???

It's exactly the kind of joke that's made about Cleveland, as well as lots of other places, all the time. Making fun of New York, along with Los Angeles and Chicago, is practically an institution. But every single time somebody says anything even slightly mean about Tampa or the surrounding Tampa Bay area, this is the standard reaction.

Also, if you can read a passage that insinuates that you can't read...

Thankfully, some people here have a sense of humor, and more importantly, a sense of perspective. Including Mayor Bob Buckhorn:

"Based on what I read, she had a hell of a one-night stand so there are some Tampanians who are doing their job so that's a good thing. Certainly she is entitled to her opinion, misinformed as it may be. I'm certain if she got to know us like we know each other, she'd probably want to move here."

And who is bugging the mayor with bullshit like this?!?

The other great response comes from Inkwood Books, a very cool independent store here in Tampa who not only updated the sign outside their store (see above) but also this on social media:

"Dear @amyschumer Please help us sell the 4 copies of your book we ordered. Since you told everyone we don't read, we are now a small band of starving/thirsty booksellers in need of pizza and gin. We heard you will be in ‪#‎HorrendousTampa‬ in October. Would you consider a book signing? ‪#‎TheGirlWithTheLowerBackTattoo‬ ‪#‎TrampaStampa‬ ‪#‎booksellerlife‬ ‪#‎WeActuallyReadAndSellThe‬$@#*OutOfBooks #booksellerlife ‪#‎SecondChances‬ @simonandschuster"

"Totally kidding. Loved the book, love your humor. Not kidding about signing books though…we’re up to like 17 readers now"

Which prompted this response from Schumer herself, who will be performing in Tampa on October 16:

"I really appreciate your offer. I trash Long Island, where I’m from all the time. Maybe I’ll come by if the timing works!"

Again, butch up Tampa. You need to not only get over this petty butthurt nonsense already, you need to not let it bother you that much in the first place. This is the kind of thing that comes with being a city. If anything, we should appreciate the shout-out. Unlike one outraged (??!!!!) local major media outlet, at least she cared enough to get the name right.

Ironwhat now, WFLA.com?