Monday, August 26, 2013

Take me home

I need a home.
I'm not homeless in the classic sense. There's a place with a roof and walls where I can sleep and store my stuff. I know this puts me ahead of the curve relative to people who have real homeless troubles, so I feel bad complaining. But because I'm no longer comfortable there, I feel... displaced. And that's a pretty significant source of stress right now, manifesting itself in digestive issues lack-of-rest issues.Everybody deserves a true home.
I used to love where I live, an older apartment complex north of Raymond James Stadium. It wasn't the nicest place when I moved in but the people who worked there were cool and committed to doing the best they could. One time, my water heater sprung a leak at five in the morning on a Sunday. As I sat on the floor catching the boiling hot water spraying out with a bucket, I called the emergency number and pictured myself in that situation for hours, possibly all day. To my surprise, the on-call maintenance guy was there within a half hour and I was actually able to go back to bed by 6:30. That really impressed me. So in spite of little inconveniences like being robbed at gunpoint, I was happy there. In a lot of ways, it takes very little to make me happy. In the case of where I live, I really don't want much more than privacy. I had that and that was enough. But something has changed and things have deteriorated. Now the management lacks regard in terms of the privacy of their residents. Now I'm unhappy. Here's a recent example.

Last Thursday, I got a call at work from the property manager's office.
MANAGER: There's a problem and we need to go into your apartment.
ME: Oh crap. What is it?
MANAGER: There's a water leak in the apartment below yours.
ME: Oh. Well, I can probably be there in about a hlf hour...
MANAGER: We're going in now. We're just calling to let you know.
ME: Oh.
I wasn't thrilled but an emergency is an emergency, I guess. I came home that night and found that everything had been pulled out of my bedroom closet and strewn around the bedroom. There was a hole in the wall at the back of the closet. That's not cool on a number of fronts and I went to bed angry.
The next morning, I woke up with someone simultaneously banging on my front door and ringing the doorbell. DingDongBANGBANGBANGDingDong. It was the maintenance man. Because I don't know his name, we'll call him Rudy. For all I know, that is his name, He wears a work shirt with a big R on the breast. That could be the logo of the property management company but I don't know for sure. I guess what I'm saying is I don't know for sure that it doesn't stand for 'RAPIST'. But he is rude so let's go with Rudy.
I answer the door and Rudy is standing there with a plumber.
ME: Yes?
RUDY: There was a leak in the apartment below, coming from the ceiling. We couldn't find where it was coming from. So it must be something you're doing.

This is perfectly reasonable in the same way that I don't know what 17 X 63 is without sitting down and doing the work to figure it out, but I'm not going top do that so I'll just say the answer is 'BUNNY RABBIT'.
ME: I don't know what I could be doing wrong; I've been taking showers in this apartment every day for the last seven years and I generally do it the same way every time.
RUDY: You need to make sure the shower curtain stays inside the tub and the water doesn't run out on to the floor.
ME: Yep, that's how I do it. I'm going to take a shower in about 45 minutes. You're welcome tto come back and check when I'm done.
RUDY: Yeah, well, this was very expensive and if the problem continues, we're going to send the bills to you.
ME: Uh huh. Good luck with that.
I closed the door. I hadn't planned on being in a bad mood that day but sometimes other people make plans for you without your consent.
I was in an even worse mood when I came home that night and saw this note taped to my door:
"We caulk around the tub & install splash guard. Please let dry for 8 hrs"

I hadn't received a call in advance. They just came in and made alterations to my bathroom, including the installation of a new shower head that sends maybe 30% of the water through the shower head while the rest continues to pour from the bathtub spigot The result is less a shower and more like having someone spill a little bit of water on you.
Good work, Rudy. Take the rest of the day off and go celebrate at Applebys. This is in addition to my truck being broken into and my air conditioning not working.

1 comment:

Ruprecht said...

... wow ... just wow ...