It looks like our first caller is Laura, phoning in from Twin Peaks, Washington.
"Hi. Thanks for taking my call. I have a ceiling fan that isn't working right."Pesky ol' ceiling fan, eh? Heh heh! What seems to be wrong with it?
"I actually sent over a video because it would be a lot easier to show you than tell you."Is that right? Do we have that video? Oh, we do? Well, let's take a look-see!
"Yeah."Generally, you don't see that kind of thing in a ceiling fan. They're pretty simple. You wire them into your home's electricity, mount them to your ceiling and pull the chain. If the blades spin, it's working. if not, it isn't.
"So what should I do?"Well, I don't have a lot of experience with what appears to be some sort of otherworldly, malevolent presence inhabiting a common household appliance and somehow speaking to you through it. I guess the best advice I could offer is to set your house on fire, get out of there and never go back.
"Wow, Bob. Wow."Sorry I couldn't be of more help. But hey, good luck Laura! Coming up after the commercial break, Carol Anne from Cuesta Verde in Orange County, California needs help with a malfunctioning television set! So stay tuned!