Friday, August 03, 2007

Amazing Animal Facts!

I know many incredible things about the inhabitants of the animal kingdom. Here's some of them:

  • Over the course of its lifetime, every dog eats its own weight in phone books.
  • Benjamin Franklin invented bifocals, the odometer and the giraffe.
  • Chickens can fly. They simply refuse to apply themselves.
  • I have no information regarding the two animals featured here. I think they might be cats of some sort. One of them looks sort of pissed off, which would further support that hypotheses.
  • Zebras lack the ability to intelligently discuss the Monroe Doctrine. However, they have some interesting views on the Magna Carta.
  • Muskrats are used as currency in Sri Lanka, with a live muskrat being worth approximately twice as much as a dead one (depending on the strength of the Yen at the given time).
  • Flocks of bloodthirsty dolphins roaming the Amazon River and the Himalayan Alps have been known to devour animals alive, using their razor sharp teeth to strip the carcass to nothing but bone in mere seconds.
  • The dolphin’s only known enemy is the Silverback Gorilla.
  • Lemurs believe that Ayn Rand is vastly overrated.
  • Lemurs are right.
  • While many disabled people employ the use of "helper monkeys" to assist them with day-to-day chores, many non-disabled people employ the use of "hinder monkeys" to keep things balanced.
  • Lobsters are the only animals that can be seen from space.
  • In space, no one can hear you scream…except for lobsters.
  • There are no lobsters in space…except one: the constellation Cancer.
  • Contrary to popular belief and scientific theory, the constellation Cancer is not totally deaf. Rather, it is merely indifferent to your incessant screaming.

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