Monday, December 31, 2007

Oh wait, it's '08

It's New Year's Eve, a time when everyone is required to assess the past and predict the future. The past? I don't see much value in worrying about what's already happened. It's like the old saying goes, "There's no sense crying over spilled milk so quit crying and let's go beat the shit out of the jerk that spilled your milk." Sure, I have a few regrets. I'm sorry the dinosaurs are extinct. I would have liked to have seen flocks of Tyrannosaurus Rex roaming the earth like God intended. Who wouldn't? On the other hand, I'm glad that World War II is over and that we were able to blow up Hitler. I'd call that a wash. It's like that other old saying goes, "You can't make a blown-up Hitler omelet without breaking some Tyrannosaurus Rex eggs". So overall, I feel pretty good about the past.

But what about the future? Hmm. That's tricky because there's no such thing as a time machine that will take us into the future except for this one that I heard about that only goes into the future and takes 15 minutes to go 15 minutes, in which case what's the point? I think it's safe to say that what we have to look forward to in the future is more of the same ol' shit only louder and in different packaging. I sincerely believe that we've stopped inventing new stuff and all our innovative energy is dedicated to modifying that which already exists. This is most clearly evident in medicine where all efforts go toward treating symptoms and not developing cures. Simply put, there's no profit to made from solving problems. To quote yet another old saying, "Give a man a fish that prevents the development of malignant tumors and he will eat for a day and not develop certain forms of cancer, but teach a man that he needs a fish that treats chapped lips but has side effects that may include blindness, feelings of anxiety and uncontrollable seeping anal discharge and he will give you all of his money".
In spite of this, I'm genuinely hopeful regarding the upcoming New Year. Even though I think it's going to be 366 laps around the sun worth of more of the same ol' shit, most of that same ol' shit is still worth getting out of bed for. I'm also hopeful that what's damaged can be repaired. And if not, that it can at least be replaced. So good night, good luck and Happy Auld Lung Syringe.

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