Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Steak and Taxes Day

Hi. I'm Clark Brooks. Writer, comedian and apathy enthusiast.
I'm a busy man and I don't like to waste time.
I love it!

That's why when it's time to do my taxes, it's April 14th or so, like yesterday, and that means it's time for me to ask Rachel to do my taxes.
Rachel is a CPA (that stands for Clark's Personal Accountant) who works for a big company that does a lot of people's taxes and she understands why I do things the way I do... well, maybe she doesn't understand, but she tolerates it which is just as good, as far as I'm concerned. So when I head over to her house with a handful of what looks like garbage but is actually my pertinent tax info with about 24 hours before the deadline during what is already an insanely busy time at work for her, I know that not only will I be getting the maximum refund to which I am entitled, but I'll also be getting a home-cooked steak dinner as well. That's right, a steak dinner. With potatoes, salad and pie for dessert! Hot damn, that's some good taxation!
Thanks, Obama. No, seriously. Thank you!
My friend Rachel: Because people like me don't get away with pulling half the stunts we do without someone putting up with it, if not actively enabling us.

Thanks, Rachel!

NOTE: This is not an advertisement for services available. Get your own home-cooked meal-making CPA, freeloaders.

2 comments:

Michael Noble said...

... wait ... wait ... wait ...

Rachel tolerates you, your stunts and inconsideration ... AND she cooks you a steak dinner ... ?!??!??

DaFuq ... ??!!??

Clark Brooks said...

The key, I think, is to push the bad behavior beyond the boundary to the point that it's actually a little charming. Strive to go beyond 'irresponsible' and get to 'irrepressible'.