- "But Hillary..." Seems like if your guy was halfway decent, you could say something good about him without deflecting attention to his opponent.
- "He's joking!" Oh, I get it. They don't know that jokes are supposed to be funny.
- "He's being quoted out of context!" That's what Trump himself usually says.
Wednesday, August 10, 2016
Trump, out of context
Once again, Donald Trump has said something stupid, mean, ill-informed and stupid. Donald Trump says lots of stupid, mean, ill-informed and stupid things. When coming to his defense, Trump supporters have exactly three responses:
Actually, that last one sounds like fun. So here's
MY INTERVIEW WITH A TOTALLY OUT-OF-CONTEXT DONALD TRUMP*
ME: Mr. Trump, you were recently criticized for wanting a baby removed from one of your speaking engagements. Do you have a problem with all babies or just that baby?
TRUMP: She's a very dishonest person.
ME: She's a baby! She was just being a fussy baby!
TRUMP: I have one of the great temperaments. I have a winning temperament. She has a bad temperament. She's weak. We need a strong temperament. And that's all it is. I have a strong temperament.
ME: I don't think getting in a fight with a baby is a good...
TRUMP: I know how to win.
ME: Well, sure, in a fight with a baby...
TRUMP: I have a temperament where I know how to win. She doesn't know how to win. Honestly, she lies a lot. And she really - she should tell - the truth.ME: Wow! You make that baby seem like a real piece of shit!
TRUMP: You understand that. And it turned out I was right. A lotta people gave me credit for that.
ME: This kinda makes me wonder. Do you have some sort of history with this baby? Have you encountered this particular baby before?
TRUMP: I don't think I've ever met him. I never met him. I don't think I've ever met him.
ME: Oh, is it a male baby? I thought...
TRUMP: I think so. Yeah, I think so. So I've - I don't think I've ever met him. I mean, if he's in the same room or something, but I don't think so.
ME: But you were in the same room. The room from which you want this baby of suddenly unknown gender removed. Remember?
TRUMP: I have never spoken to him on the phone, no. I've spe - I've spoken - when we had the Miss Universe contest a number of years ago, we had Miss Universe in Moscow, in the Moscow area. He was invited. He wanted to come. He wasn't able to come. That would've been a time when I would've met him.
ME: How old would he - or she - have been then??
TRUMP: I'm gonna take a look at it.
ME: So it sounds like there is some sort of pre-existing relationship between you and this baby.
TRUMP: I had - no, I - look. What - what do you call a relationship? I mean, he treats me - No, just so you understand, he said very nice things about me. But I have no relationship with him. I don't - I've never met him - Well, I don't know what it means by having a relationship. I mean, he was saying very good things about me. But I don't have a relationship with him. I didn't meet him. I haven't spent time with him. I didn't have dinner with him. I didn't - go hiking with him. I don't know - I - I wouldn't know him from Adam except I see his picture, and I would know what he looks like.
ME: Maybe he was wearing clothing from your line. Do you or any of your companies have anything to do with designing or manufacturing baby clothes?
TRUMP: That was all because of me.
ME: Oh? You're actively involved in the production of clothes for babies?
TRUMP: I wasn't involved in that. Honestly, I was not involved -
ME: Wait. You just said...
TRUMP: You look at suits and ties and shirts. You look at - steel. You look at so many different things.
ME: You make baby clothes out of steel?!?
TRUMP: They make 'em in very small - 3 percent of our product is made in apparel. And much of the material comes from overseas.
ME: Still. It seems like metallic clothing would be very uncomfortable. Maybe that's why the baby was crying.
TRUMP: They softened it, I heard. But I was not involved.
ME: I'm not sure I understand what's happening here...
TRUMP: I think the voter understands it. Because they understand that I s - you - you know, you're not reinventing the wheel here with these questions. These questions get asked all the time.
ME: Okay then.