Wednesday, December 14, 2016

"Homesick" for the holidays

I recently came across an ad for Homesick Candles. Pretty simple; they make candles with scents that represent certain areas, presumably for people from those areas who miss them. For example, if you're from Michigan, like I am, the Michigan candle "Takes you back to The Great Lakes State, with scents reminiscent of indian summers, cherries, and chocolate".
No, it doesn't smell like rust and Flint tap water.

I don't want one because I don't really miss Michigan all that much, but it's a pretty great idea. If the concept takes off, they can boil it down to very specific niches.

For instance, lots of people who start out in stand-up comedy don't stick with it for long. They don't like the hours. They get frustrated by a lack of success. They meet someone who loves them. For any number of reasons, they decide it's something they don't want to pursue. But maybe they remember their experiences fondly and kind of miss it a little bit. Well, here's the perfect gift for them...
It's the Homesick Open Mic Comedy candle!

Shipping note: Product ships by 12/20 and Christmas delivery is not guaranteed.

* Takes you back to those Wednesday nights when you were 28th on the list of 29 comedians scheduled to do five minutes ("you'll get the light at four and don't go over, or I'll cut your mic and you'll never do time here again, you sonuva...") at a dump called 'The Fiddlestick Grill' (or something equally stupid) in front of less than 10 actual customers who all thought it was supposed to be karaoke night ("Well, fuck. We might as well stick around for a while, since we're here..."), with scents reminiscent of nicotine, beer, despair and all the shitty ideas you wrote down in your old notebooks.
Standard issue for all comedians

* Made from all natural soy wax in the USA
* Typical burn time is 60 - 80 hours (which is 40 - 60 more hours than you invested in your comedy, if you're being honest about it)
* Candles weigh 13.75 oz each
* Hand-poured

1 comment:

Michael Noble said...

*McSnort*