"If I were you - and I'm not, so you know - I would keep one eye open when you go to bed at night. That plant could be a renegade Triffid or something and you might have pissed it off. Better yet ... I'd move if I were you. Or at least get a dummy that looks like you for a decoy just in case."Well, that's just great. That's coming from my writing partner, you guys! Who has my best interests in mind more than a writing partner? That's correct; nobody. if he thinks it's a serious threat, THEN IT IS!!
There's proof beyond Michael's trepidations that this is a legitimate threat. Here's one of the vines on Tuesday morning at 9:00AM...
And here it is at the same time this morning...
It looks like it grew nearly six inches in 24 hours. That's fast!
Obviously, I'm not equipped to handle this. I've never made a dummy of myself before. My first instinct is to get a pumpkin to use as a head and then take some of my clothes and stuff them with more of my other clothes. Since I already pretty much look like a pile of my clothes (specifically if someone were to leave a pile of my clothes on the ground next to the Goodwill box and they were rained on for a couple of days), I guess that would mostly work but I JUST DON'T KNOW!
This plays directly into my already-instilled fear that if something happens to me, I'll be missing a week before somebody notices and that it will be another week before they decide they should come looking for me. And that's if I die from natural causes like some woman stabbing me. It doesn't take into account being murdered in my sleep by a sentient weed that can hide my entire house with camouflage. This is something I'm going to need to keep an eye on. Meanwhile, if you guys don't see me for a couple of weeks, you know what's up.
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