Thursday, August 10, 2006

Who would win a fight between MacGyver and Dracula?

Recently at work, a discussion came up about who would win a fight between MacGyver and Dracula because I brought it up by interrupting people while they were working and asking them "Hey, who would win a fight between MacGyver and Dracula?".
My contention is that Dracula (and by Dracula, I mean Dracula in a tux and a cape with a popped collar as portrayed by Bela Lugosi, not Gary Oldman [who is great in every other movie he's in] in a floor-length kimono with Princess Leia hair buns on his head) is a serious pimp-ass MFer, who can turn into a bat or a wolf if he wants to. Hell, neither a bat nor a wolf are things you want to mess with on a good day, let alone a man who can turn into both (or is it either?) at night. If you step to him, you'd better bring a crucifix, some holy water, several cloves of garlic, wooden stakes AND probably some silver bullets too, which still might not be enough to keep him from killing you and your friends and then taking your girlfriend, son.
Those who disagreed with my assessment argued that MacGyver is extremely resourceful and would figure out a way to create effective anti-Dracula weapons from the contents of a 3rd grader's lunchbox.
I've seen probably all of the Dracula movies ever made, including the really shitty one starring Jack Palance and I never watched MacGyver, so guess what?
Game over, MacGyver. Thanks for coming.
Dracula's got next, bitches!

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