Friday, August 11, 2006

Get thee behind me, Satan (after you check your mirrors and signal properly, of course)

This is 100% true: This morning on the way to work, I found myself stuck in traffic behind a car whose license plate said SATAN. This surprised me for a couple of reasons. One, I'm pretty sure I've never actually been in the presence of The Devil before. I don't think seeing Miroslav Satan of the New York Islanders take on the Lightning counts. I mean, sure, they'll tell you that Beelzebub is everywhere but you don't ever expect him to be right in front of you waiting for the light at Himes and Hillsborough avenues to change.
I was also surprised to see that the plate itself was a "Protect Wild Dolphins" specialty plate. Who knew the Angel of the Abyss would have concerns about aquatic wildlife protection? Not me. I was also very surprised by the kind of car he drove. It was a taupe colored Chrysler Sebring sedan. Prior to today, if I had to guess what Leviathan, The Gliding Serpent tooled around town in, I probably would have said a Harley or a '67 Lincoln Continental or an AH-64 Apache helicopter or Gravedigger the monster truck or a Ford Freestar minivan or about a thousand other vehicles, all in black and/or red, before coming up with a Chrysler Sebring. Now I know better.
Another shocker was what a courteous driver The Ruler of the Kingdom of the Air appeared to be. You'd think if anybody would be a complete dick in rush hour traffic, suddenly cutting across multiple lanes to make turns, riding their brakes, cruising in your blind spot, waiting for God-knows-what before moving when the light turns green, coming to almost a complete stop before turning, etc., you'd think it would be Belial. But you'd be wrong. Nope, those are just your usual garden variety assholes in minivans.
I guess it just goes to show you that your pre-conceived notions about those you don't know are often incorrect.
Unless they drive a minivan, of course.

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