Christmas is a time to celebrate the possibility that everything is possible

Hey, here's a heartwarming Christmas story from my personal past...

In third grade, our social studies teacher, Mrs. Reed, was telling us how people used to believe the world was flat. To us, of course, this seemed silly. In order to illustrate how such a ridiculous notion could come to be accepted as common knowledge among a large number of people she asked, "How old were you when you found out there was no Santa Claus?" Looks of silent horror were exchanged around the classroom as our world instantly changed forever. Of course, for the most part everybody played it cool and it wasn't something that was discussed when class was over. As upset as we might have been on the inside, we had recalibrated our social self-preservation instincts by the time the bell rang. Nobody wanted to be seen as a little baby who didn't already know that years ago. Still, it's one of my deepest regrets that I didn't have the presence of mind to raise my hand and say, "what time is it right now?" when she asked.

I'd like to report that Mrs. Reed was summarily fired for at least not knowing her audience if not teaching the utter falsehood that Santa Claus might not be real.

There are only, oh, I don't know BILLIONS of photos of the guy. Duh.

But she wasn't and as far as I know, she'd been using that reference since she started teaching third grade and kept using it until she retired. I'll bet the fourth grade teachers wondered why so many of their students seemed to show up on the first day of class lacking a large chunk of their souls, though. 



So as someone whose childhood was destroyed in third friggin' grade, my wish is that you have (or find) something to believe in. At the very least, I hope you don't take any joy or satisfaction in stepping on the toes of those who do. Remember, even at the absolute top of your game, you're not nearly as clever as you think you are. 





So don't even try to tell me how and why this can't happen, you dicks.

Merry Christmas