Monday, January 19, 2015

Pull 'em over

This happened the other day. The truck part is real, the dialogue is made-up...

"Good afternoon, sir. Do you know why I pulled you over?"
"No sir, I honestly don't."
"There's a certain decorative object displayed at the rear of the vehicle, sir."
"Ohhh, my TruckNutz."
"Yes. Your... TruckNutz."
"Yep! Ha ha!"
"Funny! For a minute. Eight years ago."
"Oh. I'm sorry. Are they illegal? I wasn't sure."
"I have no idea. But they are tacky and stupid and for that, I'm issuing you a citation."
"Wait a minute. I think they're funny!"
"No. No, they aren't."
"Humor is subjective."
"Ehhhhh, kinda..."
"Well, what about my first amendment rights? Free speech, free expression or whatever?"
"Really, sir? What is it you're expressing here?"
"Umm, masculinity?"
"Go on."
"That's it. I'm a male and I'm driving a big, masculine truck and I'm proud of my masculinity. That's what I'm expressing."
"If that's the case, then proportionately speaking, shouldn't the faux scrotum, or faux-tum, be much larger?"
"I mean, if we're looking at the scale of things with the size of the vehicle, it's a very, very, very small sack of pretend testicles."
"I guess that's... say, what bureau of law enforcement do you represent anyway?"
"I'm not a police officer. I'm a comedian."

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