Monday, June 19, 2006

Further flea market observations

This is the last I'll mention it but here's some more stuff from yesterday's adventure at the Oldsmar Flea Market:

* There’s a stall there called “The Florida Survivalist”. If that in itself isn’t enough to make you shudder, consider that they were advertising that they carried a full line of ammunition and accessories for 50 caliber guns. Now, when I was in the Army, I remember we had rigging installed on some of our five ton trucks to mount 50 caliber machine guns, which was an exercise in futility according to a sergeant who had combat experience because he said the recoil generated by the firing of a gun that large would probably knock the truck over. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but one of the few things I did learn while in the service was that it was always a bad idea to challenge guys with combat experience.
* One store selling mailbox covers had over 200 designs. I think the only thing sadder than the fact that a market for mailbox covers exists in the first place is not being able to decide which design to use because there’s just so darn many to choose from.
* Another stall was named “Novelty Fishing and Hunting”. This conjured images of a stuffed dear head mounted on the wall with one of those wacky Steve Martin-style arrows through the head.
* Seeing that other people had given their stalls names like a regular store made me wish I had thought of doing that. I think I would have called mine “Here, YOU Throw It Away” in honor of the late Mitch Hedberg.
* A stall that sold socks (“Nothin’ But Socks”) had a sign that said “yes, we have socks for little people”. Now, I know they probably meant children, not midgets, but it made me think of midgets anyway and how lame a description ‘Little People’ is. Is that the best anybody could come up with? If you’re trying to update your image and be taken seriously by distancing yourself from a term that was basically a slur, does ‘Little People’ do the trick? I’m pretty sure if it were me, I wouldn’t want to be called ‘Little Person’ any more than I want to be called ‘Great Big Fat Ass’ now.

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