Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Sometimes, buying a new CD is difficult

I am a huge Prince fan. I’ve spent big bucks to see him perform, have every album he’s ever released (including spin-off and side projects like The Family and Jill Jones) and can quote lyrics from even his most obscure album cuts. Yet, his new album came out today and I’m just now, at 10:30PM, listening to it for the first time. How is this possible? Let me explain…

Last night, 11:30PM: I suppose it’s possible I could go find a late-night music store that has the album available at midnight. Problem is I’m not aware of any music stores in Tampa hip enough to be open past 10:00. Heck, Prince doesn’t swear any more so I might even be able to get it at Wal Mart. But I have to work in the morning and I’m too old to be buying CDs at midnight.

This morning, 8:00AM: I could swing by the Wal Mart (I think I pass four of them on my way) but I will be lucky not to be late for work after I stop at the dry cleaners (there are no dry cleaners on my way) as it is so I’d better wait until later.

Today, lunchtime: There are no stores in the vicinity of downtown Tampa that sell CDs.

Tonight, 6:30PM: I have to do laundry tonight, no excuses, no options. So I plan on starting the clothes before going back upstairs and opening my mail. Then I’ll start boiling the water for spaghetti before I run downstairs and throw the clothes in the dryer. Then I'll finish making dinner, eat it and wait for the clothes to dry. After I eat, I’ll fold the clothes and shoot up to Borders (I have a 30% off coupon!) and grab the CD. This will work out perfectly!

7:10PM: Uh-oh, every dryer is occupied, including some where the cycles have ended and the dry clothes are just sitting there waiting to be emptied. I ain't touchin’ nobody else’s draw’s, clean or dirty, so I wait, patiently and then impatiently. Meanwhile, I worry that the water I put on the stove is almost certainly boiling over. But if I leave now and the inconsiderate jerks show up and empty their dryers, somebody is liable to jump in ahead of me. I agonize over this for a few minutes before I finally give up and hustle back to the apartment and turn the stove off. I go back to the laundry room and thankfully nobody has cut in front of me, but the dryers are still sitting there, full of dry clothes. Ten minutes later, a woman shows up with at least, I’m not exaggerating, seven kids. No wonder every machine is in use. If each kid is good for one load of clothes each, which is probably a conservative estimate judging by the appearance of the grubby little ankle biters, she’s going to be here all night as it is.

7:40PM: I finally get my clothes in the dryer and go back upstairs to fix dinner. Of course, the water is cold now and I have to start over.

9:20PM: I am done with dinner and the laundry so I finally set out for Borders.

10:00PM: I get home for the night and finally put the CD in the player.

And that’s how that works.

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