Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The Party of the Year is almost here!

One week from tonight, DRAG QUEEN BINGO at Hamburger Mary's in Ybor City to benefit The American Cancer Society Relay For Life's Team Daddy-O Alley Katz. And I'm calling it, right here, right now, this is The Party of the Year.
"But Clark, the year is not even three weeks old", you whimper. To which I reply, "So what? Thomas Edison was only three weeks old when he invented his first telephone and that didn't stop him from becoming one of our greatest U.S presidents, did it?" This might draw a response from you that sounds something like, "Not one thing in that statement sounds factually accurate in any way, shape or form and besides, didn't I read that they just opened a new Hard Rock Cafe nearby? Man, I bet they are going to have some Justin Timberlake-style parties up in that piece every week!" The last thing I say before angrily slamming down the phone is, "Yeah, well, if you get invited to any Justin Timberlake parties at the Hard Rock, you can come back and tell me about it later, which you won't* because you won't**, unlike our party to which you already are***." Having not hung up the phone properly, I hear you murmur, "They already had Styx there..." This causes me to cry out incredulously, "Styx?!? Who gyves a shyt about Styx? We have the lovely and hilarious Amy DeMilo (Miss Gay Florida USofA 2010, Miss GaYbor 2010, Miss Heart of Florida 2010) and we have the equally lovely and hilarious Lynne Austin (the original Hooters girl and one of the hosts of The Hooters Nation radio show on WQYK 1010-AM) and we might have some other cool people show up that I can't even say anything about right now. Plus prizes, plus the whole thing benefits a great cause. Styx and Justin Timberlake together couldn't touch that on a good day.****"

Boom!

Double boom!
So if you haven't already done so, make plans to join us at Hamburger Mary's in Ybor City next Wednesday night where you too can
Wednesday, January 26 · 7:30pm - 10:30pm
Hamburger Mary's
1600 East 7th Avenue
Ybor City, FL



* tell me
** be invited
*** invited
**** if Justin Timberlake or any member of Styx or their 'people' happen to be reading this, I love your work, you're fantastic, really. I wil always have a fond spot in my heart for the Paradise Theater album and Justin is a funny dude. But we're trying to fight cancer here, fellas. If you take exception in any way to anything I've written here, I will happily post a full retraction and apology in exchange for a donation to the cause, which you can make securely right here.

3 comments:

RottenMom said...

Boom boom pow!

I hope you raise a trillion bucks!

Mariella said...

I'm coming, and bringing some friends. I told them I know the Organizer of this Party of the Year, so don't act like you never met me, OK? Because you did. That one time, remember?

Why, it's Clark! said...

We are on pace for a very, very good night!
Mariella, I'm thrilled you'll be there and can't wait to see you!