Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Dicks can't drive

It's no secret that Florida has some people that don't drive very well. But even if you're not good at something, you can still be nice. But when rudimentary skill and basic courtesy are both absent, you get situations like these two Dicks I encountered yesterday...

SITUATION #1: The Dick at the Gas Station

FIGURE 1: Here we see the pumps at a local gas station (the black boxes are cars). As you can see, the are two pumps available on the right.

FIGURE 2: Here we see how the first driver to arrive could pull forward to the furthest pump, allowing another driver to come in and behind and have access to the second pump. A somewhat careless motorist might stop at the first pump they come to. Not ideal but the second pump would still be accessible. So take a guess where Dick stopped.

FIGURE 3: Yep. Right there. Why, Dick? Why can't I have gas for my car too?

SITUATION #2: The Dick in the Right-Hand Lane 

FIGURE 1: Here I am, on my way home. I've indicated that I intend to turn right at the next intersection, where the traffic light is currently green. It's okay if it should change before I get there though, because I can legally turn right on red. Yay, I'm happy because I'm almost home!

FIGURE 2: As the light turns from green to yellow, a motorist in the lane to my left indicates that he'd like to get in my lane. Hey, I wonder if this driver is turning right at the light too? Maybe we're neighbors. Howdy, neighbor!

FIGURE 3: Nope. They're going straight. Which they could have done in the lane they were already in. But by getting in front of me, I'm stuck there...for no good reason whatsoever...until the light turns green again. Not a neighbor, just some Dick.


JamesB said...

Well, at least you got a blog out of it. The world is lucky I'm not a mad scientist inventor, because my idea would solve this problem, much to their befuddlement and displeasure. It's called a Zap-O Ray, and when fired at such Dick drivers would immediately relocate them and their vehicle to the outer reaches of the solar system. One way ticket, no returns. Straighten up, people, or off to the edge of the Milky Way with you.

RottenMom said...

Oh. You haven't seen Dick drivers until you visit Ohio.
And my husband might be one of them.

Ruprecht said...

"Richards" everywhere are silently establishing a revolution to desully their names ... and I believe they're going to use Mr. Brooks as a poster child if they ever find him ...

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