Let's hug it out, bitches

I have made a concerted attempt to keep this blog as close to non-partisan as possible, especially now, during election season, but some (not nearly all) of you right wingers should be ashamed of yourself for your reactions to pizza proprietor Scott Van Duzer giving a big old bear hug to President Obama the other day. 
No, not all conservative-leaning people, just you bitter miscreants who truly do thrive on hatred because it's the closest thing to an emotion that stimulates the tiny, puckered rabbit-turd-with-Hitler's-face-on-it where your hearts are supposed to be. 
I get it, you're upset that a registered Republican not only stated that he voted against party lines and will probably do so again but he also offered up a pretty flagrant display of public affection with the man that you've decided is your sworn enemy. Between that and all the rock stars who don't want you associating with their music in any way, shape or form, well, I can see where that would hurt.
But your basic unlovableness coupled with some other individual's ability (and constitutional right) to think for himself is no excuse for trying to hurt the guy's business with a bunch of one star reviews and nasty comments like these on Yelp.com:  

"I will not eat from traitor's hands and I'll never take food from man who DIDN'T BUILD his business". 

"If you were a real republican you would have body slammed the socialist President Obama."

"Well.. I'd eat there but after seeing the owner grab our leftist President I felt compelled to disrespect his establishment as much as the President disrespects our constitution. Shame on you Scott Van Duzer for thumbing your nose at all the small business owners this President has disrespected for the last four years. I guess you DIDN'T BUILD IT!"

The problem with that strategy, even though you kind of stayed on message with the DIDN'T BUILD IT stuff (although it might have been more effective if you'd actually mentioned, you know, the food), is that every one of your bad reviews has been countered with about 60 positive ones. At that ratio, it's probably safe to assume that some of those are from conservatives who find your tactics reprehensible also. As a result, Van Duzer's Big Apple Pizza and Pasta Italian Restaurant, a place that nobody had heard of a few days ago, is now Florida's highest rated restaurant, surpassing the world renowned Bern's Steakhouse. In light of all that, you might want to re-consider some things.

• The guy owns an independent pizza joint, not a Pizza Hut franchise. Even if he wasn't a registered Republican, it would appear that he's still one of those small business owners you like to espouse...when it suits you to do so. Heck, the guy even displays a framed Tim Tebow jersey on the wall! And as far as "never" taking food from someone who didn't build their business, I'm not sure exactly how you're defining someone building their business but if you're serious about that and Van Duzer doesn't qualify, I think you're going to be losing a significant and unhealthy amount of weight in the near future.
• His name is Van Duzer. Didn't everybody go to high school with a big friendly dude that had a name like "Van Duzer" (probably known more widely as "Duze" or "Duzer! What's up!") that went around picking people up and hugging them?
• You know, when two people like each other for whatever reason, maybe you can learn to accept that it's not about you and just leave them alone already (feel free to extrapolate that philosophy into other relationships as necessary).
• The bottom line is Van Duzer got excited that the President of the United States was visiting his business. We're Americans and sometimes when we get excited about stuff, we hug each other, okay?

See? That's just something that we do. It's no big deal. So if you... wait a minute... is this all because nobody has ever given you poor miserable bastards a hug? Well, why didn't you just say so? We could have saved so much time and so many hard feelings. Come here, you knuckleheads! 

Too much, too soon? Okay, fair enough. Just let us know when you're ready.