Monday, June 10, 2013

It must be hard to be a tv news reporter sometimes

It must be hard to be a tv news reporter sometimes.
Imagine, you show up at the scene where some incident has taken place. You look around for subjects to interview and you find an African-American woman with long blonde hair extensions, wearing a NASCAR jacket with M&M's on it. "Oh yeah!", you think. "This is it!" Your cameraman hits the lights and you ask the woman to tell you what happened.

"Well, I woke up and smelled smoke and I was afraid the house was on fire. But I heard yelling outside so I looked out the window and realized it was actually my neighbor's house..."

Oh damn it! What kind of shit is that?!? That isn't going to get you on YouTube! A waste of a perfectly good trip into the ghetto. Why couldn't she have just started shrieking,

"Oh lawd, it was like Jumanji! I was all flappity-dappity with a jibbity-jabbity and a King Kong playing ping-pong in Hong Kong with his ding-dong! I like to have fell out! Sweet juicy magoosey!"

Where the hell is an Antoine Dodson, Sweet Brown, Michelle Clarks or Charles Ramsey when you need one of them? I tell you, those lucky stiffs on the daytime talk and courtroom shows have it made!

1 comment:

Jeff Hickmott said...

Flappity. And indeed, dappity.