Take this weather with you

Thursday, around noon.
The red boxes are tornado warnings.

When I made the decision to live in Florida instead of Michigan, I was led to believe I was trading tornados for hurricanes. I would happily make that trade every single time. Don't get me wrong, hurricanes are no joke, but they give you warnings. At least a couple of days and sometimes close to a week before they hit. They'll still wipe out an area like a giant eraser, leaving you homeless, but at least you get a running start in terms of getting out of there and staying alive. Hurricanes are monsters but they're courteous. Tornados are straight-up assholes. A typical tornado warning tells you to take cover now, RIGHT NOW, cross your fingers and hope for the best. With a hurricane, you can sit down and watch tv for a half hour and get a fairly accurate prediction of where it's going to be and when, allowing you to pack some things, arrange a sitter for your pets, buy some supplies and head out if necessary. Sort of how you might make plans when you find out that Tom Petty is touring. With tornados, by the time you look up at the sky and say, "that doesn't look good", it's pretty much your ass right then and there. Growing up in Michigan, I developed a severe phobia of tornados, due in large part to what we learned in school. Here, watch this...

We watched that film (in stunning 8mm!) in school at least once a year, every year. That shit is scarier than The Shining! Now tell me how someone wouldn't grow up terrified of tornados?
It wasn't until I got down here that I learned Floirda has both and that's bullshit. All of this is to simply let you know why I'm not writing a "real" blog post today. Right now, Tropical Storm Andrea is bearing down on the northwest coast of Florida (not considered a threat to the Tampa Bay area), the weather around here is bonkers with multiple tornado warnings in effect (imminent threats to the Tampa Bay area and my clean underwear) and I might as well be 11-years-old because that's about how well I'm functioning right now.

Noon, Thursday: Okay, it doesn't look that bad but there were sirens going off and everything!

So see you Monday. Hopefully.