Wednesday, October 29, 2014

I love Craigslist

I love Craigslist, the seedy, debauchery-soaked flea market of the internet. For every creepy, awkward, inappropriate, potentially horrifying and probably illegal post you find, there are, well, dozens more exactly the same if not worse. It's like whatever the next thing is after pornography in terms of being less socially redeemable, that's what Craigslist is. It's wildly entertaining for virtually no good reason whatsoever. Every so often, right-minded people will make an attempt to clean it up and make it a more decent and reasonable resource for people. Poor misguided do-gooders. Craigslist is, was and always will be a haven for whores and degenerates of all kinds to peddle their perverted wares.
Thank goodness!
I've been enjoying it for some time. I don't go on as often as I used to but still check it out from time to time. Like last week, when a co-worker was talking about going up to Auburn, where he went to college, to watch a football game between the Auburn Tigers and the University of South Carolina Gamecocks, but he was concerned that he had no place to stay. Craigslist to the rescue! I quickly posted this ad on his behalf...
Can I stay with you, my friend? (Auburn) Hi. My name is Hayden and I need friends for two days. I'm coming to Auburn for the big football game against the Cocks taking place somewhere between the 24th and 25th of October and I'm looking for a place to stay. I prefer to stay with friends so we would need to establish that relationship first (there isn't much time between now and then so, chop chop!). Here are some of the things I like: Golf. Showers. Dogs. Salad dressing enthusiast. Auburn football against the Cocks. I hate breakfast. After the game we will each go our separate ways and never speak to one another again so it's no big deal if we're not completely eye-to-eye on some of this stuff. Let's do this, pals!
No replies, but who cares? Fun!

Last week, a friend and fellow Craigslist devotee shared this beauty from Chattanooga with me...

LET'S FUCKING FRISBEE (anywhere in the Noog) No frisbee golf, no ultimate. Don't care what race or gender you are. Not trying to jack off or fuck anyone. All I wanna do is toss a goddamned frisbee at you, and you throw it back. I don't care if you're any good. Let's just try this shit. Yes, I am awesome at frisbee throwing and catching (especially for a man of my portly stature), but don't let that intimidate you. Embrace my awesome. Have a drink from my flask. Let's do this shit.
Yes. If you are in the Noog, you should definitely do that shit.

Craigslist; It never, ever gets old.

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