Monday, October 13, 2014

Then there's THIS waste of space

Even though I've mellowed, even though I make a concerted effort not to judge others, even though I have worked very hard to control my temper in situations where I have no control, there will always be a reason why it's impossible for me to achieve a state of true peace. Like this...

On behalf of those of us who don't feel entitled to free shit every time something doesn't go our way, who don't have time to get upset about goddamned candles or how unfair it is to live in a world with stores where employees don't occasionally make an honest mistake (or, for that matter, those of us who know you don't watch videos on a camera), please do us all a huge favor and jump feet-first into a nearby sausage grinder.

Honestly, if I won the Powerball, I'd go to Wisconsin, visit every Bath and Body Works in the state, buy every single candle they have (at retail, so the staff all get nice bonuses) and make you watch me dump every one of them into Lake Michigan.

Stop being horrible, you great, gaping void, you worthless, omni-repulsive, yawning deficit of a human being.

Also, fuck you and your fucking air quotes.

PS: The Packers blow.

1 comment:

Michael Noble said...

Must ... resist ... urge ... to ... move ... to ... Wisconsin ...