Friday, February 09, 2007

The Other Others

If you have found this message floating in a bottle, please forward the information below to my family and friends. I just want them to know I'm ok.
Actually, 'ok' is probably understating it. I'm great!
I know you were worried when you heard that Oceanic flight 815, the flight I was on from Sydney, Australia to Los Angeles, had disappeared somewhere over the Pacific. Well, what happened was the plane basically cracked in half and crashed on some uncharted island. I have to admit, that kind of sucked. Lots of people on board were killed and all our luggage and stuff was scattered up and down the beach. The good news is that a bunch of us survived and, even better, we now live on a tropical island! Seriously, this place is fantastic. The weather is gorgeous, it's scenic as hell and for some strange reason we seem to have plenty of food and fresh water. Don't get me wrong, there are a few drawbacks. There's a small clique of survivors from our flight, seemingly all the pretty ones, who've decided that they're in charge or something. They make a lot of racket, what with the fighting among themselves, having flashbacks, blowing things up and getting killed. There's also apparently another group of folks who live on the other side of the island who seem hell bent on making the clique miserable. The clique's leader, a guy named Jack says these people are bad guys but one of the first things they did was the favor of taking all the children from our group over to their side of the island, so I think Jack is full of crap.
Whatever. As long as both groups leave me out of it (and so far, they have), I could honestly care less what they do to each other. Meanwhile, my days consist of sleeping until whenever I feel like getting up, hanging out on the beach, maybe doing a little fishing and watching the most incredible sunsets you've ever seen. I have to tell you, in spite of what appears to be a flock of angry polar bears living in the jungle who may or may not decide to drag me off and devour me with no notice whatsoever, I've never felt so relaxed in my whole life.
Bottom line: Please don't rescue me.

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